Yesterday's Happiness ( Growing Up )

No!,Turn....ing Back

The moment her flight took off,the reality of what she was doing hit her ; and it her hard.

She was really doing this ....

Yes,she'd thought of it and she'd dreamt of it.For Christ's sake,she'd been planning the whole thing even since ......

No.She wasn't going to cower after all she'd gone through to make all this possible.Not to even mention what she was putting her dad through.The guilt in her guts made it hard to breathe as she even thought of it

Dad!.

An image of her dad's face flashed in front of her momentarily,causing her mouth to quiver as she realized how selfish she'd really been.Looking back now,she realized she hadn't really been fair with her old man.

She inhaled deeply trying to clear her mind of the negative thoughts that were invading her private thoughts.And even as she did this,she knew just one thing for certain

She was having second thoughts

She leaned back in her seat and realized the old woman next to her was looking at her with concern clearly evident in her eyes.Kayla had even forgotten the woman was there

"Are you okay honey?",the woman asked and Kayla detected a slight French accent.

In a micro second,she gave the woman a once over and noticed from the expensive jewellery and clothes she wore,that the woman was from money.But she seemed nice and Kayla didn't what say because Honestly,she couldn't tell if she was okay.

Just then,the old woman smiled,flashing three good tooths.Kayla could practically smell the money.

"I_uhm_i'm",Kayla stammered in an attempt to respond to the woman's question and prevent the woman from thinking she was rude or something.

Tears stung at the back of her eyes and Kayla tried to blink back the tears,but a lone tear slid down her cheeks,betraying her.

Who was she kidding?,she wasn't okay.She needed to turn back.

"Oh dear!",the woman exclaimed,"Don't cry",she said,looking at Kayla sympathetically.

The look on the woman's face seem to strike a chord in Kayla as she realized what she was doing

She was behaving like a five year old Infront of a complete stranger.This was so embarrassing.

Wiping away the tears from her eyes with the back of her hands,She replied a bit too sharply it surprised herself

"I'm okay".

Kayla bit her lip as a look of hurt crossed the nice woman's face as she gave her a sad smile.

"I'm sorry,its just that - - ",Kayla began to apologize

"How old are you?",the woman asked dismissing the youngster's apology with a wave of her hand.

Kayla was surprised by the woman's question.She wasn't expecting it.

"I'm seventeen ",Kayla replied with a little hint of pride in her tone.

The woman beamed. "You're as old as my granddaughter",she commented with a glitter in her dark brown eyes.

Kayla smiled.

"You're travelling alone",the woman stated,more than asked Kayla.

"Yes",Kayla nodded.

"Well I am too.Going to visit my son in-law and my granddaughter",the woman provided.

Kayla noticed there was no mention of a daughter and for some reason,she saw a pain flash in the woman's eyes.But she covered it up so quickly with a smile you'd never believe the look had even been there.

Kayla gave the woman a knowing look.

And that's how for most part of the flight,Kayla and the woman,whom she got to know was called Perla (which by the way,the woman insisted they stay in first name basis), onversed and talked about almost everything.Kayla was really grateful for the distraction. And in all truth,the woman was fun and easy going.

She even got to see a picture of Perla's granddaughter,e except the picture was taken ten years ago.

Perla was going back after ten years.

Perla fell asleep midway through their flight and Kayla couldn't help but study the woman.

She had an oval face and her wrinkles showed she was under a lot of stress. Perla was around sixty,but she was still in shape and her long flowing black hair complimented her face very well.She looked young,petite and beautiful.Kayla stared at the sleeping woman admiringly.

Then Kayla realized just then,how similar she and Perla were.

But then again ........

Alone with her thoughts,Kayla was left to battle her emotions which had been there the whole time she'd been talking to Perla.She'd suppressed them,hoping they'd go away,but oh!,how wrong she'd been.

She sighed.

This wasn't as easy as she'd pictured it.She didn't even know if she would even fit in.Would she even still like the place?,or was she just trying to prove something to herself.

It didn't matter anyway.She'd already left.What was the point of having all these disturbing thoughts anyway?.

It wasn't going to change anything

She was going to atleast try.She was going to to do this.But most importantly,she deserved this trip

It was afterall,her only connection to ........

No.She wasn't going to start thinking about that now.She wouldn't be able to stop herself if she did think about that.

Kayla exhaled loudly.

This was it.

She'd had her chance to change her mind about this whole trip.

Last night had been a perfect example of one of those chances.

And now here she was on a flight that would take her back.

Back to that one place she'd always dreamt of for as long as she'd learned how to dream.

A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as the excitement seeped through her.

This wasn't a dream. This was real

Kayla yawned.

She realized just then,how important this was for her.And as sleep beckoned her,she reasoned that if she had had a billion chances to change her mind,she'd still be on this flight a billion times.

"There's no turning back now",was the last thing that crossed Kayla's mind as she yawned again and finally gave in to sleep.