I Know Why It's Called A Crush

To my Jerry Maguire

Dear Jerry Maguire,

5th grade. That's when we first met. You probably don't remember it or me for that matter, but I do. I admired you from a distance, but never had the courage to approach you. I could only ever fantasize about you with your perfect hair; golden locks falling above your long lash line, deep brown eyes, chocolate flakes specked with sunshine. To me you were beautiful. I wanted to talk to you but your pearly smile shied me away.

I did get that opportunity though. Mrs. Thompson put us in the same group for our class project and my heart literally skipped a beat. Getting to know you, I found that I liked you more than for your appearance. You and I were terrible partners, talking the entire time and finally getting called out while arguing about whose handwriting was worse. You would not let me win and claimed the title of "worst handwriting" for yourself. After being scolded we were forced to finish the project. (but at least it was together).

I joined safety patrol that year with my best friend. You did the same. I don't know if it was fate or whatever, but that's what it felt like ! We got to spend time after school together and it was a dream come true. There were only two poles for us to guard for all the younger kids and you always got one of them. I would have fought your friend to the death of it meant I could guard the one opposite of you, to talk, and to stare at the little freckles that danced across your face in the sun. While waiting for our parents to pick us up, we would sit together and do our homework. We always claimed to be "helping" and not cheating as I gave you assistance. I was so infatuated by you and your actions that when I was talking and you decided to mess with me by pressing the "shut up" button on your app, I could do nothing other than giggle like the schoolgirl I was. You always made me laugh and lifted my spirits even if you were just teasing me...

As we got older, we changed. Well, you did. My feelings however never wavered. I still had a huge crush on you, and I had to watch as you asked out girl after girl, until eventually you worked your way to my best friend. To make matters worse I had to see you everyday in advisory. You were so close to me all the time, yet far enough away to where I could do nothing about it. I watched the two of you fall in love and leave me on the side. My heart crumbled. I felt the pain of loving someone I could never have.

This is for you Jerry, and I wish you the best of luck in life. I hope you will never be crushed the way I was.

XOXO Blondie