TATBILB CONTEST

Untitled Part 1

Dear Crush,

 After years of watching girls easily flirt with their potential lovers, it has made me ponder over the thought of why can't I be as good as them? I have been told by social media, friends, and even family that having a crush is pretty damn fun. Based on the thoughts of my own, I don't know whether I agree or not. The negative piece is simply feeling worthless about my crooked off white teeth, my untamable curly blonde hair, and feeling that I should never eat a bite of food again because everywhere I turn I am told, "no one likes a fat girl". Not only does my physical appearance nearly tear me to shreds, but the way my voice is too high and my laugh sounds like a dying seal, the way I am the smart ass and I care too much or too little or I am just the useless easy going nice girl. But then that small nearly pointless 1% chance their actually is of me being happily with you is just imagination. I know I am your best friend. I know that there is nothing more. Unrequited love, isn't it? But when I look directly into your deep blue eyes or when I see your face whether it is across a packed room or we are sitting side by side laughing about us. I feel entitled to thank you, not only for your advice or sense of humor but even for your presence. We can be silent for hours and I don't think it would bother you or me at all. There seems to be some sort of connection between you and I. Like you like me back. Or maybe it was you that has been waiting for me after all this time. I pray to God that someday again we would meet up in town and I would help you with your homework or that we would sit next to each other alone in the movie theater crying our eyes out when Peter Parker doesn't want to go maybe we could be at eighth grade graduation and I enter the gym with my knee length black dress and I would see your elegant black suit and watch me and say how how I looked beautiful. Possibly when you held my hand and then you sat with me watching a horror movie. I would relive those moments again and again and again. The smile on my face would never leave. And I would not be surprised if you would want to relive those moments with me. But just not thinking of it the same way I am. Even if you don't think of it like I do, I think that is okay, as long as I get to spend eternity with you.

Mary Jane Hipinowitz