The Journey That Is Life; A Teenage Perspective

Chapter 31- Sully's P.O.V I was wrong all along

-- Sully’s P.O.V --

    The day passed by quickly, as per usual, when and if I was talking about every little thing with Maddi, and I ended up staying the night, I slept on the couch. It must've been a restful sleep for the two of us, as we ran into each other in the kitchen around 2 am looking for a glass of water, after a quick laugh, she came in for a hug, unexpectantly "I'm scared." she whispered. I hugged her back, tighter; reassuring her everything is going to be okay. It didn't seem like that long, but she pulled away and we both continued with our water, and said good night to each other, from there I slept easily, but woken up around noon the next day.

     That afternoon we all took the trip to the dreaded hospital, and she was shown to her room, I waited inside with her for quite awhile, maybe an hour, just talking until I was told since I wasn't family if I could just wait outside the room for a few minutes. It ended up being half an hour waiting outside that room, damn lying professionals, I was playing on my phone most of the time, keeping my mind off reality until I started to eavesdrop on the doctors voice, he was breaking some bad news, so I kind of needed to listen.

 The words were muffled at times, but what I got out of what he was saying was, the chances weren't big for her survival, it would be a miracle if she did wake up. And if she did, her memory would vanish, or most of it would. She wouldn't remember anything, or anyone-- To an extent. I did start to tear up, so I looked down at my phone, hiding my face, I had to be the strong one here, until I heard another voice, a voice more sweet, 'I have hope.' it was Maddi, I don't think she'll give up, and she'll fight until she's cured. With that one phrase, I have hope; it gave me hope as well, that she'll be strong enough. She was reminded once again about the memory loss, and I zoned out of the rest of the conversation, I couldn’t take bad news or criticism well. One time, a teacher told me I didn't take criticism well, and I shouted back to her, 'What is that supposed to mean?!'. But I figured it out myself.

     But after all the muffled voices stopped, the door was once again opened to me, her mom stepped outside for some fresh air, she was stressed, almost crying really, I’d see why, but I stepped inside, and knelt beside her hospital bed, "Hi." she whispered, smiling.

     "You're having the surgery, whether you like it or not." I whispered back, "It's better having you here even if you don't remember anything then not having you at all."

     She smiled as I ran my fingers over her cold cheek, brushing off the fallen tear.

     "I'm not having the surgery, not now." She said back. I was surprised.

     "Are you kidding me right now? You'll die!" My voice wasn't a whisper anymore.

     "No, just pain on occasions. It's better then forgetting everything. Forgetting you." She managed a smile.

     "I don't think you understand the fact that I can't lose you, Matilda." I said, but regretted it a second later.

     "Yes I--" She started to say, but I stopped her.

     "I love you." I said, but avoided eye contact. I'm stupid, why did I say that? I looked back at her, and she looked as if she wanted to cry.

     "You-- You love me?" She managed to say.

     "I really think I do... Yeah."

     "Why... Why didn't you tell me before, Sul?" I couldn’t tell if she was mad or happy.

     "I know you don't feel the same way." I hated to say that, but I had to, I admit it to myself everyday anyways.

     "Maybe I do."

     "You do?" I asked. We looked into each other’s eyes for quite a bit, through everything she still had that little sparkle.

     It took her awhile to think, "Yes! I love you! I mean you've been with me this whole time? We never fight, we like the same things..." Her mind seemed to have trailed off.

     "Then please, please do the surgery!" I begged.

     "I'd rather die then wake up and not knowing who the hell is looking down at me." She was serious.

     "I'll always be here, regardless." I said, wiping off her cheek again.

     "Promise?" She asked.

     "Promise." I stated. I bent down and kissed her, her lips were cold, but you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. We kept our foreheads together for quite sometime too, even the small gap between us seemed like miles away, and all I wanted to do was close that, but as it was already the evening, I was told visiting hours were over. I said my good byes, and my good lucks for making it through the night, and I left, I hope she was happier after what just happened.

     I walked across the parking lot to a hotel, I used the last of my paycheck to pay for the room, but it was worth it. The hotel had a very depressing atmosphere; everyone here must have a relative in the hospital. It was another restful night, but no waking up in the middle of the night and meeting her in the kitchen accidentally.