"Why?" I asked as she looked at me with tears in her eyes. I couldn't believe that was happening, my brain could not comprehend what my ears were listening. Tears started to run down my cheeks as the information sank in, my heart aching as if I had been stabbed with a dozen of knives.
"I'm sorry." She said as she sweetly raised her hand to touch my right cheek. "I really am but, I love him." It was clear that saying those words out loud was painful for her, but it was also painful for me and it hurt, oh how it hurt.
It was then when, all of a sudden, I felt my entire world crumble to the ground, just as I had felt it rise the moment I met her. Suddenly, nothing made sense anymore, nothing had value, for she was everything I knew for sure. I was never one to picture a family, or a home, or a future, always living each day to the fullest, a rebel, a lone wolf, a wanderer. But it just took a glimpse of those emerald green eyes to break it; to break my idea of a future, replacing it with a home, a two floors home with a fireplace, a porch, a balcony and her. I started picturing my life in a different way, a hundred locations, a hundred jobs, days, people... but one common element: her.
I knew it, I just knew deep down inside of me that she was "the one", that someone all love songs talk about, that someone all romantic films want us to find, that someone you dream about, telling yourself again and again that it's impossible for them to exist out there in the real world. She was that someone, that person I wanted to share everything with, my secrets, my fears, my moments of joy; that person I could see next to me, comforting me when the world was just too much to deal with and I felt like crying myself to sleep, the one I could see bringing me flowers on my birthday, cooking chicken soup each time I fell ill, taking my hand in hers in one of those many long walks along the river or across the park.
I wanted it all. I wanted it with her. And I thought she wanted it too.
When I woke up that morning and read that text, I had imagine something really different to what had actually happened. "I need to tell you something, meet me at my place in fifteen." That's all it said, that's all she had decided to tell me, allowing me to imagine one hundred possible conversations; did she want to ask me on a date? Did she have a surprise ready for me? Was she finally ready to make "our thing" official? Because I knew it as certain as the sun raises every morning that we had something, maybe not a relationship per se yet, but something. A few stolen kisses, a couple of sleepless nights, a thousand of looks filled with passion, desire and... love.
But none of the things I imagined in my mind had come any close to what she was going to hit me with. While I happily drove to her little apartment in which we had shared movie marathons, late dinner dates and deep confessions, she was getting ready to drop a huge bomb inside my soul. I knew it as soon as I saw her face that day, I knew something was wrong, a quiet voice inside my soul told me I should run, get away from there because I was going to end up hurting; but just as they say, love is blind for everyone, and so I chose to ignore that voice, I chose to ignore my guts, my instincts. And I stepped right inside my doom.
Her eyes were not bright, that's the first thing I noticed when she opened the door for me, showing me a weak smile I also decided to ignore. Maybe she was feeling sick, maybe she was nervous, maybe... But all those maybes became an answer as soon as I stepped into the kitchen.
A wedding invitation. There was a wedding invitation with her name on it pressed against the fridge, held by an apple shaped magnet. I shook my head, what the hell was happening? Was that a joke? I tried to remember which day was it; October 23rd, April's fool had passed long ago. Then what? A prank? Was she trying to observe how would I react if she told me she loved someone else? Was this a test?
"What?" that was all my mouth was able to produce after a few moments of complete silence.
I turned around to face her. Her eyes were now red, puffy, tears threating of rolling down her cheeks in an uncontrollable river she was fighting to keep inside. I saw her swallow, staring at the floor, unable to look into my eyes as she said the words that were going to change my life forever.
"I'm getting married, Regina." She tried to fake a weak smile as I felt how the room started to spin around myself. "I guess I should have told you before but... I didn't really know how." The tears had finally made their way out of her green eyes, emotions flooding the room with every single drop. "He's a good guy, an old friend of the family. We met-"
"I don't want to know it." I cut her, and it took me everything I had not to cry until I ran out of tears right there in front of her. "I thought we had something. I thought we were something. I thought... I thought you cared."
"I do care! I love you so much, Regina, I do!" she yelled, trying to make me understand this was as hard for her as it was for me.
"Then why?" I asked softly. "Why?!" I screamed, my voice not coming from my throat anymore but from somewhere deep down inside of my body, somewhere where my soul was ripping in two, hurting like nothing had ever hurt me before.
"I'm sorry." She whispered as she looked at me, tears in her eyes. "I really am, but I love him." She swallowed again, trying to ease the knot that was oppressing her throat. "And I guess I love him more than I love you."
That was enough. I couldn't stand one more word coming out of her mouth. She was going to do it, she was going to just throw everything we had built with so much love and affection to the garbage. She was going to marry him, she was going to choose the wrong one. And she knew it, but she just didn't care.
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One shot dedicated to my twinn because we love pain, plus she had been waiting for this so hope you liked it 😂💛
