My Trans Life

My Coming Out Story

  When I was 12, I got very curious about some people I knew. I had a friend in 7th grade who was trans. I didn't know anything about being transgender, so, I looked it up. For a month I hid what I found and that I related to. By the time I was almost 13, the pressure was too much to handle to keep hidden.
  I asked my dad what my name would have been if I were born a boy. He didn't know. Then that made things click for him. I told him after hesitating that I wanted to be a boy (I was 12, now I know how to say stuff like that. Since I said I 'wanted' to be a boy rather than saying I was one). I stood outside with him for an hour talking (mostly crying). He said I was always a tomboy and that he always wanted a son. Some FtM's say they were never a girl. I say I was, I always had a girly part of me, and I always had a boyish side to me. I was a girl, but that was a phase.
  After telling my dad, I had to tell my mom (my parents are divorced). She understood because she is Bi and was a tomboy growing up. Telling teachers to call me Luke and use male pronouns got me in some trouble with kids. I had a chest cause I didn't know what binding was. It was so hard to get people to even say my name everyday. To hear my deadname made me furious but I had to restrain myself. My parents used my nickname as my name AND pronouns for about a year. It was better than hearing my deadname and female pronouns.
  3 years later, its now rare for someone to use female pronouns and my deadname.
  So, for anyone just coming out of planning on it, GIVE PEOPLE TIME!!! Most of my friends who just came out have been getting upset when someone uses the wrong name/pronouns. Some have been defensive about it. Don't get that way. Nicely tell them not to say those to you and give then the right name/pronouns. If they refuse to, don't get mad. Give them time to grow on it and tell them time to time. They will get it even if they don't mean to. You don't have to be on HRT or have surgery to be valid. But I agree you must have gender dysphoria to be trans/nb (don't argue with me on that). But some people are gonna be toxic and say the wrong stuff. If you have these people at all, get them out of your life.