Long Distance Relationships Afterward

Part 1

~ Author's Note: This first part is pretty short, because this is just to introduce you to the idea of the book. It will be quite a while before the next part is uploaded, as I want to see if it's even worth writing~

You never really know how much you're going to miss someone until you say that final goodbye. Now, I'm not talking about death of a loved one, or the loss of a best friend. Honestly, sometimes I wish I were, it would be easier in a lot of ways. Obviously in other ways in would be a lot worse. What I'm talking about is the final message between you and your significant other, when you decide that it's all becoming too much for you and that you need to no longer be together. This can obviously be for a number of reasons, but for me personally it was the dumbest reason of all...

They were too perfect for me, I didn't feel like I deserved the amount of love that they were giving me and that I didn't deserve the multiple text messages filled with nothing but honest care towards me. I loved them with all of my heart but my brain didn't allow me to believe that I deserved it. To be quite honest I had used this reason in a lot of relationships prior, but in no way did that make it any less genuine. I am of the very firm belief that in most of my relationships that the other person is the absolute best person in the world and that I am complete and utter trash in comparison. I did everything in my power to end it...

The biggest thing I did was when I went away on a trip with my family, and sent a text to my partner that I couldn't do it anymore. I would also like to clarify that I know that doing this over text makes me sound like the WORST human being on the planet (trust me I know that I was), but also, I couldn't really do it in person as we were over 320kms from each other.

This was one of the major downfalls of being in a long-distance relationship, but we'll get into that more later. Now, it is time to think in the present, when it's three years later and I'm no longer together with them, and I miss them more than words could really describe...

This morning, I woke up like every other day, which is usually a struggle. If you couldn't already tell, I suffer from some pretty heavy mental health problems. Waking up and getting out of bed goes one of two ways. Either, I wake up pretty early and without any real issue. However, other times I can wake up and it's around 11am and it becomes a serious chore to bring myself to function as a normal human being. Sometimes, the idea of getting out of bed can feel incredibly impossible to accomplish. Today, was one of the days where the latter occurs.