Dear T,
I love you. And I don't mean that in the 'your my best friend and I care a great deal about you' sort of way. I mean it in the 'I'm head over heels in love with you and have been since we were 11 years old' sort of way.
When did it start? I couldn't exactly tell you. I've had a lot of time to think about this question and I still come up with no answer. Perhaps it started with that first smile you flashed my way in the sixth grade or maybe it was the first time I saw you cry in math class after failing a test. There's no way to be sure. It kind of happened slowly over time and then all at once.
When did I know? That's the thing...I didn't. Well not at first. There wasn't a definitive moment and there definitely wasn't any proclamation of love. But for some reason none of that mattered. Because when I saw you with her I knew that I could never ruin that. At first I thought revealing the truth to you would set me free somehow and perhaps even get me the guy. But I've realized love isn't about being with the person that you want to be with. It's about sacrificing your wants and needs for somebody else. So that's what I'm going to do.
I know you'll never read this, this letter is more for me than it is for you. I just hope that you know that I'm never leaving. I'll be the person you rant to about your problems when everybody else is too busy to notice that your breaking inside. I'll be the person to hold you while you cry the pain away. I'll be the rock that holds you up and you'll be the wave that takes me down. But I don't mind. Seeing that smile on your face makes everything worth it.
I know that you'll never feel the same way about me but for some reason I can't help but be relieved. Could you imagine what would happen if we actually got together? It would've been a disaster. But that's why I'm writing this letter. To say goodbye. To say I'm moving forward with my life because I have a bright future ahead of me. I know I do. And I know you do too.
Your smiles were my lifeline and your tears were my weakness. But now it is time for me to move on. I can't live the rest of my life wondering what could have been. But you'll always have a piece of my heart whether you know it or not.
And when you leave for college soon I hope you know that you can always come back to me. Cause after all this time, after all these years, I hope you can think of me and know that you'll always have a home.
Love, Anonymous
