To All The Boys Contest Entry

~ D ~

Dear D,

          I think about you all the time. You're constantly on my mind and I wish it was easier to feel the way I do about you. When I'm in class, and my mind drifts off to daydreams, you're in all of them. 

          I can see everything I love about you, clear as day. The way you push your hair out of your face when it covers your eyes. The way your eyes light up when you smile. The way you tilt your head back when you laugh.

          I can hear everything I love about you, loud as a bell. The deep echo of your laughter, and the kindness in your voice. 

          I can even smell everything I love about you. I wish the smell of pine trees would surround me all the time, but it's only when I'm near you.

          For some reason, I can't find a flaw, anything to help me get over you. Even your style is perfect. When you wear tight shirts and I can see your biceps, I know I'll be safe in your arms. When you roll or push your sleeves up, I know I can easily hold your hand. And when you wear those big sweaters, I know you can keep me warm when I'm cold. 

          I don't know what drew me in at first, considering we never really talked much. Maybe it was how your brown eyes turned to honey if the sunlight hit them the right way. Maybe it was the way you held yourself: confident but modest. Or maybe it was the fact that I knew I couldn't have you.

          When we sit at the same table every morning, I can't help but listen to you as you talk, watch you when you listen. And when we make eye contact, it's like the world slows down and your eyes are the only thing I can see.

          But then, she says something and you look at her. And I can't stop the jealousy from exploding in my chest, making up reasons not to like her. Even though you go perfectly together, I wish it was me holding your hand, me you wrapped your arm around.

          Maybe if she wasn't yours, if you weren't hers, we could've had a chance. In my heart, I'll always hope for the chance we could be something. But in the meanwhile, you'll be hers and she'll be yours. I'll just be on the side trying to find someone else who could mean as much as you do.