Our Stardust

I use to see the shine in their eyes. I still see them, I just have to look up at the night sky.

I feel their presence as I walk each night, the comforting cold wind and wet grass smell makes me miss them even more.

The path we use to walk together each time. We would cry, fight, and love together.

Their smile gave me life, it made my heart beat like excitement and nerves from a rollercoaster.

They're smooth skin, and beautiful eyes enchanting me to want more.

"Why'd you have to go?" I say as I look up, and see the only bright star in the sky.

No response, just blinks.

"It could've worked out" I say and feel hot tears begin to form.

"You said you were happy! You said I was your happiness, I was your love?!"

"You were my everything..." I say.

I fall on the wet grass. It's doey sense combined with my skin as pieces of grass stick to it. The moon in half as it illuminates the street.

No other people in sight and no birds chirping but instead crickets making music tonight.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.

My gaze goes back to the bright star.

The star was us. When we were apart, we would say that we share the star everynight.

They would tell me "don't worry, I'll be shining down on you at night" each time they had to stay overnight at the hospital.

They insisted on having me go home, I knew it was just a way of them saying "hey I'm at my worst and I don't want you to see me like this".

I remember those nights, seemed like many. The very last time they said that, they said it with tears.

I wiped them off and hugged them. I wasn't mad that they were leaving, I was just sad.

*
"I don't want you to suffer because of me, I want you to go out and explore the world. Seize each day, not here sitting in a sad hospital room...with a crippled person"

"I don't want to explore the world nor seize each day without you" I said. I recall holding on to their hands so tight as the eyes looked at me with sadness.

"I can't live like this, especially when I'm here putting your life on hold...I can't love you like this" they said.

I remember crying at that time, they cried as well.

The last day of them being here, was at a lovely peaceful house.

White Walls, white furniture, white roses. I sat next to them, our hands embracing through out the whole thing.

The moon gave us the light and mood.

"My mom will give you a letter, open it when your ready" they said with a soft smile.

"Don't cry please, I don't want my last sight to see a beautiful woman crying" they said. I laugh a bit and wipe the tears.

"That's better." They say and kiss my hand.

"I love you, and I will forever love you. I want you to be happy and love someone else too."

I look away and the tears come back. Their voice is shaky but soft.

"Remember to look up. At the night sky and find me. We'll be separated but we'll still be together"

*
The memory of that day makes me cry. I dig into my jacket and find the letter.

Still unopean, but now I'm ready.

I read it, they're words funny and charming in a way with some sadness.

I drop the letter and the star is now in front of my eyesight.

Blinking rapidly making it seem like a sign from my love.

I reach for my pockets again, I feel the pill container but don't bother to take it out, it's empty now anyway.

"I'll be next you" I say with a small smile.

My eyelids feel heavy. I get once last sense of the atmosphere, and one last sight of our star.

One last sight of them.

My thoughts fade away as I fade into stardust too.

We're no longer separated.

We're together now.