Peace Of Mind (Brassells Bromance)

Peace Of Mind

Hey guys :) So, I wrote this oneshot and I thought I'd share it with you, because I love writing and maybe someone likes it :)

I said it in all my other storys: NOT a native English speaker ^^ If you find any really bad mistakes or something that makes no sense at all feel free to tell me :)

It is a bromance oneshot buuut I think I left room for some interpretation ;) It is also a little bit mysterious... and...weird maybe? Idk .'D You have been warned :)

One last thing ;) I just wanted to clearify that I love all of the Asking boy's wives :) I think they're angels ^^

Guess I'm done talking now :) Let me know if you liked it :)

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This is the only way that I will find
Something near to happiness in this life

Ben stood outside the fancy location, James and Brandi had chosen for their wedding, lighting up a cigarette. Ben didn't smoke frequently anymore since he was a dad. His kids and his family were everything for him, his world, his shelter, his hideaway... everything! He inhaled the calming smoke and stared at the nearby beach and listened to the ocean's waves. He sighed. He heard repressed noises from the inside. Singing, laughter, music... He turned his face to the window for a moment and looked at the amazing celebration. Everyone was happy, everyone was smiling. Except Ben. He looked at them with a slight expression of sadness and nostalgia. He sighed once more and turned his face away. He looked down at his own ring, that Ciara gave him not so long ago, with a smile. It meant more to him than he could ever put into words. This ring symbolized everything he achieved in the last few years. All he had been lucky enough to experience with his beautiful family. He would never take that ring off voluntarily. It meant too much to him. Ben heard footsteps behind him and noticed that someone leaned against the balustrade next to him.
"You have a cig for me mate?"
Ben turned around to face James who was smiling at him. After a short moment of confusion, Ben nodded and gave James to whole packet. They stood together and smoked in silence. They needed no words. Not really. Ben stared at the ocean again. The silent, steady noise of the waves calmed him down and made his thoughts drift away. Why was James out here? With him? He should be inside having the best evening in his entire life. Ben locked at the drummer who stared at the ocean's waves. Ben watched him. The low light lightened his face a bit and let shadows dance in his eyes. James turned his face to Ben. Ben felt caught and looked away, pretending to watch the ocean. James stared at Ben and smiled: "I thought you quit smoking."
Ben just shrugged and inhaled the smoke.
"Why are you outside?"

Ben turned his face again and looked at James: "Why are you?"
James just looked at Ben. Good question. Why was he outside with Ben and not inside with the woman he loved? Brandi... His wife. James shrugged. He had seen Ben outside and something had told James that he needed to go outside. That he needed to be alone with Ben for a moment. Because there was so much left unsaid. But now he didn't know what to say. Now he didn't know how to start. But he didn't need to. Instead, Ben finally started talking: "It is crazy."
James nodded, not completely sure what Ben was talking about exactly.
"See where we are now! See who we became. It's insane compared to where we were a few years ago."

I started disappointing everyone
Always letting down the ones that I loved

James nodded. Yeah. It had been an insane journey. With a lot of ups and a lot of downs.

"We were so fucked up."
James laughed quiet: "Yeah. Probably."
"There are some times I never want to go back to."
James swallowed and looked at his friend who still stared at the ocean like he was hypnotized. In fact Ben just tried not to look at James, so James wouldn't see his inner battle. His mind and his feelings were a rollercoaster right now and Ben didn't know why. Not really. James nodded slightly: "We fucked up some things really bad for sure."
"Look what we have been through. All that shit in the past. I can't forget about all that. It haunts me every night. It makes me sick thinking about what I put some people through."
James lifted his hand to pat Ben's back, he wanted to comfort him in any possible way, but he stopped himself and let his hand sink.
"I feel so bad. What am I going to tell my kids? I don't want to lie to them, I want to tell them everything, I'm proud of what we achieved. But there are so many things that I'm not proud of."
James smiled: "Tell them everything. Focus on who you became. Who we all became. How could they not be proud of who their daddy became?"
Ben swallowed. He wanted to hug James. But he was afraid that James could see... Could notice... Notice how much Ben needed him...
"What about you?", Ben asked all of a sudden.
"What about me? Nothing about me. I don't have kids I could lie to."
Ben smiled: "Not yet."

No excuses there is nothing left to say
Finding a spark deep down in the dark
It's far from easy but I needed a brand new start

They stood there for a while staring at the ocean. Silence surrounded them and none of them said a word until James' voice broke through the silence: "Not everything was bad tho."
Ben smiled: "Of course not."
James gently bumped into Ben's side and they both laughed. Yeah...Not everything had been bad. They always had been great friends. In good times and the bad. Ben smiled.
"There were some great times. I mean we..."
James cut himself off. He didn't know exactly what he wanted to say. He bit his bottom lip.
"Remember the time we all woke up almost naked in one bed."
James hid his face in embarrassment: "Urgh... I remember damn well. My head still hurts when I think about that night."
Ben laughed: "You swore that that was your first and last time playing strip poker."
"Oh don't make me remember."
"One week later you swore again."
James laughed: "Shut up."
"Fun times."
"Yeah...For you."
"Hey it's not my fault that you can't play poker. At least not when you're drunk."
James shrugged: "Yeah whatever."
"As much as I enjoyed that time it still doesn't make me a better person", Ben sighed.
"We lived our life."
"To the fullest."
They were silent for a moment. Drowning in their minds.
"It is the way it is. Everything happens for a reason", James said looking at Ben: "I don't regret the things we've done. It made us who we are today."
"And what if I don't want to be who I am?"
James lifted a brow: "What do you mean?"
Ben sighed, still not looking at James: "I feel so bad for this but sometimes... I miss us James... Just us..."
James bit his lip.
"I love my life. I love my family but... Sometimes... I wish..."
"It was easier."
Ben nodded: "Yeah... It was easier sometimes just to...not care..."
He sighed: "Am I a bad person?"
James shook his head: "No! You're not Ben! You're anything but a bad person. I know you love your family and they know too. They mean the world to you."
"They are everything for me."
"See..."
Ben nodded. James was right.
"Thank you, James."
James smiled: "Anytime Ben... Anytime."

This road is covered in ice
and paved with sacrifice
I gave it all away and I paid the price

"You really deserve to be happy."
James smiled: "I am. Happier than ever."
Ben smiled bitter: "Everything changes for the better, huh. Even if it means to give up something else."
James bit his bottom lip: "Yeah...I guess."
"I love you James."
James looked at Ben who finally turned his face to look at James again: "You're my family... You all are."
James pulled Ben into a side hug and smiled: "I love you too mate."
Ben smiled and hid his face on James' shoulder for a moment.
"We paid our price to get here", Ben said all of a sudden.
James nodded.
"I don't regret it."
James smiled: "We had good times Benji."
"I hate that nickname."
James laughed.
"Stop it dickhead", Ben said but soon he joined James and burst out into laughter.
"You probably should go back to your wife. I'm sure she misses you", Ben winked at James.
James smiled wide: "You're right. Do you come back inside as well?"
Ben nodded: "Yeah I will. Just give me another moment."
"Good."
James smiled at Ben and joined the celebration inside again. Ben leaned against the balustrade and watched the people inside. He smiled. James was right... There was nothing to regret... not really... Ben closed his eyes and smiled. Even if this life demands sacrifices...
"Babe."
He opened his eyes to see his wife in front of him.
"Come back inside."
"I'm there in a sec."
She smiled: "Okay."
She leaned in to give him a little peck on his lips, before she got back inside. Ben watched her with a big smile on his face... Yeah... there was nothing to regret... Even if the unburdened times were over...

I've fought for this
I've bled for this
There is no turning back now
And finally I'm able to see
The place I'm meant to be

-Villain Of The Story (Peace Of Mind)
(Check them out! They're great :D)