Longing For You(Doctor Series #2)

Chapter 20

Pained Alisa

Jandrick's POV

We went out of the bar while she is clinging to my arms and her walking is always X.

I chuckled. "What's.... Funny?"she asked while trying to open her eyes. Oh dear, Alisa.

"Nothing.... Just tell me if your stomach is mad"I warned her. She nodded while making a face.

I furrowed my eyebrow and shook my head.

I widen my eyes when she let go of my arm. This girl really is frustrating to me.

"Alisa"

"Hmm.... The wind"she whispered. She closed her eyes. And of course she felt the wind like crazy.

She opened her eyes again and rubbed her eyes. She walked in X again. I rolled my eyes.

"Alisa, come here"I said while getting nearer to her. I held to her waist. I gulped. Well, I never knew she had this kind of body.

Her waist is small. She sighed and clinged to my arm again. The wind blew her hair and it exploded.

Her flushed cheeks and almost red lips showed up. I looked away. What the ef is that, Jandrick?

Are you being an innocent man? Well, whatever. I'm not a fan of games and tricks. If I kiss her now it will be my first—

Fuck why am I thinking of this!?

"Sea sea"she murmured while looking at the dark sea. She dragged me to it. I just followed her. I had no choice of this drunk girl anyway.

She sat down on the sand. I noticed my arm is still on her waist and her hand is still on my arm. I faked a cough.

"You know... I want to be free like them"I looked at her. She also took a glance on me and saw her sorrowful eyes.

I never seen her like this. She hates me, that's all I know and what I see. That's why I doubt she hates me for forcing her... To this fixed marriage.

"Them-what?"

She smiled and looked at the sea. Her smile seems innocent today. "Hm.. The sea"I furrowed my eyebrow.

"You're free already, you had the most perfect life in my opinion"she shook her head. She chuckled.

"Yes, I know. There are people who starve out there but... My feelings are caged"I sighed.

What is this feeling? I don't know but it gave me creeps. I looked at my phone and saw her face on the lockscreen.

How happy for me to see her smile innocently like this.

"Your feelings are caged?"I asked while turning my phone off. The wind blew her hair again.

She frowned. She nodded. I wonder what made her like this. I don't know why everyone thinks drunk people sayings was nonsense.

But before, I was used to be a first year neurosurgeon. But when I knew, five years ago at Casey's promotion that Alisa is a general surgeon I changed it.

But according to my studies while I was a neurosurgeon 99% what the drunk people say is the truth and their feelings and only one percent is nonsense.

I could believe her.

"What feeling?"I asked. What feelings is that she mentioned? That it was caged somehow?

"Hmm..."she raised her both shoulders.... However, I want to see her tired and sorrowful eyes. It fits perfectly to her thick and long eyelashes.

"That I'm stuck between reality and what I hoped?"Oh, she even asked me. That somehow gave me a hit to my head.

I was stuck, too.... Because of you. I looked away. The shimmering sea calmed my nerve.

"Reality and what you're hoping is two different things..."she whispered. My mouth was half open and I felt my eyes soften because of what she said.

"Call me a bitch or whatsoever! You're not mine anyway"she yelled at the sea. I widen my eyes.

My jaw clenched. Who is she talking about? I looked at her and my jaw was dropped when I saw her eyes is very red from unshed tears.

"Alisa? Are you okay?"

Jandrick, you fool! Is there a person who cries is okay!? The fuck, man!

She smiled weakly and her tears fell. I can see her brown eyes is really in pain. She's crying! Again!

Shit, a crying Alisa will be my death, a pained Alisa will fuck me up! Shit shit!

What is wrong with her?

"If only these all didn't start fakely"she whispered. My breathing hitched. What?

Did she meant me? What!? Jandrick are you losing your mind!? You're hoping to much!

I bit my lip. Her face is almost red now. "Alisa, we should go now.... You should take a rest"I said.

She sobbed. Damn, did I made it worse!? What's wrong caring for her? God!

"Why... Do you care?"she asked while she was frowning. What? Why do I care? Does she have a stone heart!? Jesus!

"It's.. Fake, right"

I widen my eyes and my breathing hitched. I licked my lips. "What fake are you talking about?"I whispered.

She smiled weakly. Shit! I can't take her pained smiles anymore.

"I had the fake attention, fake treats...and fake love...."she murmured something that I didn't heard anymore but... I don't want to hope and seeing her mouthing something like.

'I had the fake attention, fake treats... And fake love.... From the person I liked for years'

The fuck!? Is that it? I sighed and closed my eyes. Jandrick, this might be wrong for you.

I looked at her and saw her weak smile. I quickly looked away. "Baby, please.. Please stop your weak smile just cry if you want"I begged. It hurts me to see her plaster a smile even she's hurt.

I turned to her and she frowned. My eyes drifted to her frowning lips. Damn it.

"I will smile... No one ask if I'm okay, anyway"I widen my eyes. "Fuck, Alisa don't say it like that"she smiled again. Shit this!

She shook her head.

"I'm fi—"

I kissed her. Shit. I would like to stop her one percent nonsense. I backed away. I saw her innocent face.

"I care for you... I love you, Alisa and don't say it like that"

I don't think she heard it because she's already slowly closing her eyes. I held her cheeks and she consciously trying to open her eyes.

I kissed her deeply once more. Now you completely fucked me up because of you. I told you a pained Alisa will fuck me up.

Oh? First kiss? Ayieee