Happening Again

Loved love

I used to love love. I loved the idea of, the idea of being able to lose yourself in another human being. To be with someone else knowing that they feel the same way you do. Someone that is always there for you, to catch you when you fall, to take interest in who you are. Someone that accepts you for who you are when you are feeling low. But not anymore. I think it's stupid.

I opened my heart to everyone I met and it has done me no good. I've been accepting and kind only to find out that it is considered to be a sign of weakness and to be taken advantages of. I used to think that the world was full of people who were genuine, but I guess not. I was told that you would be treated the way you treat other people, so I always treated people with respect because that is how I want people to treat me. It is partially a fault on myself for being so naive. 

Now, I trust no one. I'm still kind of people, but with caution and less genuine. I pretend to be tough when I'm still a fragile child inside. I don't cry in front of other people, only before I go to bed. I laugh like I have no worry in the world when all I do is worry. And love? I gave up on that a long time ago, and instead I made a check-list.