Dear you,
It wasn't even in my plans to befriends with you nor get to know you. We were just strangers who barely knew each other ... until this freaking summer.
You were a guy who's very far from my liking. I hate your type. I don't like guys who loves to play basketball (not to mention even good at it). I don't like playboys who had a number of girlfriends before even knowing me. I don't like guys who were always linked in a long list of names. I don't like guys like you. I just simply... don't like you.
You chatted me first. It was okay with me since I'm not snob at all. So I replied. I. Replied.
And that was I guess the biggest mistake. My biggest mistake. It was my mistake. I didn't realize it was a trap (was it?).
It became a habit to chat with you. I wasn't interested because I got an eye for another guy (you knew that, right? my Mr. J). You kept on chatting me and I don't know why but I kept on replying too even if there are times that you're annoying the hell out of me.
I got to know you (did I?). There are things that we agreed and disagreed on. After a month or two, you confessed (not just once). You want to do the courtship. I rejected you. A couple of times.
It would be unfair to give you a chance when we both know that I'm still into someone, right? I only want us to be friends. You agreed but then, you were very unfair. You started to send me sweet messages and I really hate to admit it but I'm also starting to like it.
I started to forget Mr. J. You invaded my mind. I started to think about you all the time. Not that I totally forgot about Mr. J but I think of you more often. I hate how you easily broke the walls of my heart.
I let my guard down. I am starting to feel something for you, too. And it is a sad reality that I am not strong enough. I am not that strong enough to take risks with you. I am not.
The reason why I blocked you on messenger. I want to stop these feelings. "Prevention is better than cure" they say. So to the guy I am afraid to fall for, I fell.
But I won't let you catch me. I won't give you the chance. Ever. Even if it means breaking my own heart, I won't. I know my heart and it definitely lacked wisdom.
I will not make the same mistake that I did with Mr. J. I'm not going to give in again. I'm not going to let myself loose again. I'll take the fall and embrace the bruises, I'm letting you go.
