Love Is a Bunch of Stupid Decisions

Chapter 19

February 24th was the best day of my life.

It didn't start that way, though. It started at 4 AM, when Ben woke up from another horrible dream about his mom. The last ten days had not been kind to her, or any of us, for that matter. Her lung disease had gotten worse, taking more and more life out of her every day. Ben and I had made plans to fly out tomorrow, but this time, it wasn't for us to just visit his family. It was for us to say our goodbyes to his mom.

There aren't words that I could say that could convey the weight that sat on my shoulders these last few weeks. How quickly life could change- one second, you're touring the country with the love of your life, and the next, you're both preparing to say goodbye to the most beautiful and loving woman to ever walk this earth, the woman who had become a second mother to you. Ben had planned to leave the show starting tomorrow for at least several weeks, depending on how things went.

Up until early afternoon, our day followed it's normal path. Ben and I would sleep on and off until about 10, but we'd still be exhausted all day. I'd work for a few hours, Ben calling his family to check in, or hang out with some friends to try and take his mind off of what he couldn't change.

But at 3:00, on the dot, everything changed.

Emma's name lit up my phone. "Hey Emma, what's up?"

"Charlotte, are you with Ben? He's not answering his phone and it's kind of urgent," She said, speaking with so much anxiety in her voice that I could feel the breath being knocked out of me. His mom was dead.

I felt my entire body fill up with dread. "Oh my god... Oh, god, Emma, I'm so sorry. I don't know where he is, I think he's with Sky or Josh-"

"Charlotte," She interrupts. "It's ok, she's ok."

"Oh thank Jesus," I breathe out, collapsing back onto the hotel bed. "What's up then? What do you need Ben for?"

"We think that mom is going to be ok." Her tone picked up, a genuine optimism in her voice now that had been missing for weeks.

"You're kidding! Oh my gosh, let me go find Ben. He needs to hear this." I race down the hotel hallway, shouting his name as I passed door after door. After months of staying in hotels that all looked the same, I could never remember where people were staying, but I was pretty sure he and our friends would be on this floor somewhere. He peaks his head out of a room as I run by, confused. "Ben! Emma's on the phone. She said that your mom might make it."

I can see a little bit of light in his eyes again, but it's still hesitant and unsure. "What?"

I turn speakerphone on. "Emma, I found him!"

"Emma, what's going on?" Sky, Josh, and Iain are all around the phone now too, the anticipation building.

"Ben, the other day, the doctors were starting to notice that some of her symptoms didn't match up with what people with this disease usually experience, so they ran a few other tests to check. Ben, it was a misdiagnosis. Mom is going to need surgery... but she's going to be just fine."

My clearest memory of that moment, although still fuzzy, is the look of pure joy that flooded Ben's face. It was like a dream. Seeing the boy that I loved happy again after so long is better than any happiness I could have felt for myself. I have no idea how I didn't pass out on site, but I knew that I was crying before I could even process what was going on.

She was going to be ok. We were going to be ok. Things were going to be normal again, or at least partially normal.

And, just like that, the weight of all of our suffering and pain was taken off of our shoulders. I felt brand new- like my life had just gone from black and white to high definition color. This wasn't just happiness, or relief. This was something that they don't make a word for, because even then, it wouldn't do it justice.

After the show, we all go out to celebrate what had become a victory for the entire cast. We had always said that the cast was like a family, and everyone had become invested in this journey, just like a family would.

"Are you guys still going to fly out tomorrow?" Ava asked, all of us enjoying some celebratory chocolate cake.

"We might as well, since we already had everything set anyways," Ben says, me nodding in agreement. With all of the celebrating, we hadn't really thought much about it. But it would be nice to enjoy a few days with his family, celebrate, and spend time in each other's presence somewhere other than a hospital room.

After dinner, Ava pulled me to the side. "So I guess you and Ben are all good, huh?"

"I guess so," I laugh, having completely forgotten that this all started with a fight between Ben and I. "Man. I wonder what would have happened if I never would have called Emma."

"I guess it's a good thing you did," She responds, laughing with me. "I'm happy for you two. You guys never should have had to deal with this in the first place."

I shrug. "You know, now that we're on the other side of it, I feel like it just made us so much closer. I guess tragedies have that effect on people. ... Is that too cliche?"

"Incredibly cliche. But I like it," She smiles. Not much later, we head back to the hotel, all exhausted from the show and celebrating.

"Char? I'm so happy."

"I know you are," I laugh, turning over in bed so I could see the smile plastered on his adorable, sleepy face. "I am too."

"This is the best day ever."

I chuckle again. "It really is."

We slept soundly that night for the first time in far too long. Everything felt a little too unreal, playing over and over in my head like the ending of some perfect movie. How quickly absolute dread turned into delight. Ben picking me up and spinning me around in a hug again, like he always used to. Genuinely talking and laughing with our friends again, without feeling like we were faking it anymore.

Who knew I could miss normal and mundane moments of life so much?

A/N: !!!!!!!!