I Will Always Love Him

Him

Have you ever fell in love?  I fell hard and fast.  I didn't even realize until I was trying to and failing to grasp at the edge of this cliff.  Little did I know the branch was too weak and I kept falling.  It was like he was dragging me down and he didn't even have to try.  

Once I told him how I felt about him. It was the hardest and most exciting thing I have done. He told me he wasn't looking for anything serious. Me being a dumb love stuck idiot just wanted to have him in any way I could so I accepted these terms. Having someone but not fully is like taking a shower but the water is cold and you don't have any shampoo or body wash. It fü€king sucks äss. You want to take that shower, you need to take that shower, so you put yourself through it anyway.

Looking back I've noticed I must hate myself still. He didn't feel the same but he wanted me for my body. While I wanted him for him, all of him. They say the heart wants what it wants. It really does and it will hurt itself in the process. Even when you know that they are using you, you still go through it and are constantly getting your hopes up only to have our heartbreak all the time. Then you crave them when you aren't even on their mind.

I saw this pome once and I have never related to something more.

This is by reliant-on-escapism on Tumblr.

I  miss you

But I have no right to miss you

You are not mine

You were never mine

We have nothing

We have never had anything

But being near you 

Made my thoughts swirl

And Imagination dance

Thinking of what could be

But maybe it will never be

But that doesn't stop me

From wanting

You.