my sister's ex boyfriend

he is mine 1

My elder sister, to whom I'm very close, just got back together with her ex-boyfriend. There was an incident, though, not long ago, when her ex and I were feeling sorry for ourselves and got very, very drunk, and accidentally slept together. No one knows, but he wants to confess and start afresh, with a clean slate. I don't think he should?

VICKI Neither do I, my dear, but he won't heed your say-so. I have no sister so I know only – from being a first-born – that elder sisters tend to be irritated by younger siblings who come along with their sense of entitlement to everything we had to fight for. And 'irritation' is not quite the word for what your sister might feel once he's blurted. You could try (a) confessing before he does, or (b) the Murdoch approach: denial, denial, denial, even in the face of counter-testimony. Doing (a) may mean lifelong estrangement. But she may forget (b) by, ooh, let's say 2036?

OCTAVIA This boy went through the whole process of getting back together with her and didn't at any point say, 'Oh, listen, there is this slight spanner in the works you might object to.' And he thinks now is a good time to bring it up? I'm not convinced their relationship is long for this world. You may well think he should hush but if he wants to talk he's going to have to – he'll only blurt it out later otherwise. There's your lesson. As poor old Fiz in Corrie has found out, you should never commit a crime with someone you can't absolutely trust.