Daycare

✧19:Daichi✧

The lightness that I felt in my chest was foreign. The weight that had once occupied that empty space had been there for so long that I had practically forgotten how it felt not to be pressured by the weight of pain.

I held the physical pieces of my heart that I had been missing for all these years in my arms, Koushi. The warmth of his body pressed against mine made my skin hum and my mind was buzzing with no comprehendible thoughts, just begging me to keep close to the man. Curiously, I moved my eyes from his eyes to his lips, imagining what they would look like with mine against them.

The desire to fulfill the concept urged me but before I could satisfy the desire, Koushi beat me to the chase. His hands moved like clockwork from my hands and gingerly moved onto my cheeks then slowly slipped around my neck pulling me closer.

Losing himself in the kiss, Koushi slightly began to lean back against the surface of the bed, causing me to lose my balance on the floor a bit. Not wanting to fall onto him followed his lead and leaned down slightly to match his angle, not willing to sacrifice breaking the kiss. We stayed like that for a moment until he continued to lean back, his grip around my neck causing me to go down with him.

I balanced myself against the bed by pressing one of my knees against the bed between Koushi legs while keeping the other grounded against the floor. My forearms were flush against the surface of the bed, Koushi laying between them.

My lungs slowly began to tighten, not satisfied with the fact that I was practically forgetting how to breathe through my nose. I tried to hold out for as long as I could but I knew if I didn't give myself a break, I would most likely pass out.

My mouth fell open slightly against Koushis and I flicked my tongue against his bottom lip. He gasped slightly and I took his bottom lip between my teeth and bit it lightly before taking my chance to pull away.

Koushi loosened his grip around my neck and I pulled away from him slightly in an attempt to get a better look at him.

His face was practically glowing peach, much unlike its usual pale hue. His hair was splayed in all different directions. My eyes scanned his face, moving half mindedly back to his lips which were now slightly swollen before moving back to catch his eyes.

He eyed me, "You bit me!"

Smiling down at him, now embarrassed, I replied "Hey! It's been a long time since I made out with anyone!"

Koushi smiled at me smugly and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You have iron lungs!" I attempted to retaliate. But Koushi just giggled dismissively, teasing me for biting him more before admitting half mindedly that he liked it.

We continued to joke around but soon enough, my arms began to get sore from being in that position for so long. I pushed myself up slightly before pushing my body upwards and falling onto the empty space next to Koushi on the bed. Quickly, I flipped so that I was resting on my side facing Koushi, and he followed my lead.

For hours, we just stayed like that. Lying parallel to each other, talking about everything under the sun, laughing, sneaking chaste touches and kisses. But before the two of us knew it, our eyelids outweighed desperation to stay open and we both fell into a slumber.

And then just as easily as the night had ended, the morning had come. The sun spilling through the blinds was what alerted me of that fact. Groggily, I let my hand fall against my face whipping away sleep from my eyes.

A small yawn bellowed lightly out of my mouth as I slowly sat up, in an attempt not to disturb the sleeping Koushi that was next to me.

Koushi sleeping next to me, the simple thought struck a burst of warm energy through my body. I turned to admire the sight, but my eyes were met with an empty mess of sheets. I stared at them blankly, the warm buzz in my body instantly replaced with chilling ice that shot down my spine. The sun shied away, its beaming stream ceasing to pour through the blinds, the air around me grew cold.

A fucking dream.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Koushi probably left after I made an absolute mockery of myself in front of him and my ex-wife and in his departure I drowned myself in alcohol and sorrow, fabricating that whole night. Slowly I raised my hands from the duvet before throwing them back down in frustration.

Roughly, I threw myself back onto the surface of the bed prepared to wallow in my own self-pity. Deciding that it'd be better to cry it out now so that when Tobio got back, I would be fully prepared to flash him a happy facade.

I pulled my pillow over my face in an attempt to block out all the light that had remained in the room, desperately wanting to be alone in the void. Firmly, I squeezed my eyes closed letting some of the newly forming tears absorb into the pillow.

Suddenly, there was an unexpected dip on the empty space of the bed next to me and the pillow was lifted from my face.

"Oh, good you're already awake." a voice greeted me. Then, "Are you crying?"

I shot up, my hands flying to my face frantically whipping at my eyes.

"No, that just happens sometimes when I wake up. I think I have weak eyes, the sun's rays... burn my corneas." I rambled. It was a dumb lie but I couldn't think of anything better, my heart was beating so loud to the point that I could bearly thing straight.

I cranked my head around to face the direction that the familiar voice was coming from and there he was. Koushi, illuminated by the sunlight that had coincidentally decided to make an appearance again at this exact moment. He smiled at me awkwardly, also looking like he was judging me for my obvious lie, but he looked exactly like an angel sent from God.

Recently, I had been questioning if I even believed in God, and most times the answer was no. But looking at the boy who was silently shading me made me send her a little thanks, apologizing for not giving her credit where credit was due. She had passed me down my second piece of heaven, finally completing the puzzle, Tobio being the first.

"If you say so, but you should get that checked out. Anyways, I made you breakfast." Koushi said, chuckling a bit. He sat upon his knees and reached around to the nightstand, grabbing the two plates that rested on the surface. He passed me one before laying out a napkin on the bed before placing his own atop it.

My eyes moved away from him and to the plate. There were some hash browns, toast, and a golden omelet with a small messy heart painted with ketchup squirted on top. As I looked down at the plate, I could feel my body slumping forward slightly. My heart was getting so heavy, my body could barely support the weight.

Slowly, I sat up. I looked over at Koushi, he had a fork loaded with food and had it on route to meet his mouth. I watched it, almost in slow motion. He was clearly talking at the same time, but I couldn't hear the sound. My body frantically jutted in his direction and my hands sprung to grab his face. Lightly, I pulled his face towards mind and, like magnets, our lips met together.

It took him a second but he kissed me back and when I pulled away, pulled me back and gave me one last peck. He chuckled and shoved neglected the food that was on his fork into his mouth.

"That's an interesting way of saying thank you," he mumbled smugly.

And I guess in a way it was. But it wasn't only for the food. It was because he was here, really here. Existing. Genuinely existing, not a dream. And whether I knew it or not, this is how it was meant to be. How it was going to be, for the rest of the both of our lives. Existing together.