My name is johua G. Down . I met Shaina in the High school. She was a pretty girl. Her eyes were in blue color and had a nice long blond hair. We were in same age too. I was fascinating about her and we became very good friends in months. After one year of friendship, we became lovers. Shaina meant everything to me, since then.
After I came out the High school, I had to find out a job. I did many jobs but I couldn’t find a fare job for me. So...I didn’t have money in my pocket. But Shaina never said a word about it. She always did courage me for find a job. At the time, I noticed that couples of rich guys were tailing on Shaina. But she never gave a even any damn look about them. She was always stick with me. I was really happy about her love. That was the only thing I got.
Time passed, I knew that without a job, I’m gonna loose Shaina soon. However I got a sales job in a super market, where I found my destiny.
There were three other sales guys were there, and they were practicing as a music band. I was born in talent for guitars. Eventually we set up our band and got chances to play in parties. It didn’t passed years; our success was rising up day by day. We quite from our sales jobs and played full time. Once we got a TV show and we hit the jackpot.
There after nobody can stop our progress. Our band was populated rapidly. All this time Shaina was nearby me like my shadow. Money was coming to me continuously. I spent more and more money for her.
But day by day, my life was changing; I got much money, lots of friends, and the girls. Most of the nights, I was drunk. Eventually Shaina's association was a headache for me. I wanted to stay away from her. Because, I felt Cathy ruins my privacy. I met new girls every night. I didn’t want to stick with Shaina any more. But she came to me almost every time she could.
One evening she came to my apartment, on that day I was with another girl. But she didn’t blame on me. but she just asked,
“Why…why this? What happened to you now?”
I felt much guilty; I thought she may jump on me like a devil. But she didn’t do that. I felt a shame on me. I felt guilty about me. Finally I got angry about myself. But I exposed my anger on her…
“Bitch…you don’t need to fingering my life anymore…let me live my life alone…get lost you bitch…!!!”
She left me forever on that day. I didn’t see her again. it was so ease to my mind. After one year, I left Munich. I came to Nuremberg and my life was a heaven since then. I got all most every happiness, there. Girls, money, Drunk nights, I thought this is the life.
Life was going like a fairytale, for another eight years. One night I felt very uncomfortable for my body. So I got some tablets and energy drinks like the other days. But it was continuing for two three weeks. Eventually, I got fever too. Some time I sweat all over my body in nights. I felt that my body is not same any more. Finally I visited a doctor.
There, I got my life’s shocked news. I was infected by HIV. In a second, I realized everything. But I was too late.
Eventually my body and Soul were decaying. I was abandoned by my music band so easily.. My friends abandoned me. but still I got money to spend. I used to medicate every day now. But I knew that in very near future, medicine cannot live me anymore. day by day I reached to my death. Sometimes while I was just sleeping on my bed, I memorized my past. There, I felt "Shaina", as one and only my own angel. She full filled all my life. My inside was filled with her memories. She was the one and only thing, in my mind. Then I realized what was there in my subconscious. But everything is now gone.
One day, while I was sitting on my bed, in the nursing room, I saw that my angel was coming to me. Though I didn’t see her for last 10 years, it didn’t difficult to recognize her pretty face.
“She is more beautiful than before” I thought to myself.
But now, I’m just a living Skeleton. She came and stand in front of me. I couldn’t stare her eyes straightly any more. I tuned my head down. I felt, my eyes were getting wet, eventually that wet became tear drops and they were oozing one by one on my cheeks. Suddenly I felt something run through my hair, in seconds I remembered warm feelings of her hands, on my head, after ten years of time. she was running her fingers through my hair. I couldn’t stay still anymore. I just hold her hands in my hands. There, I felt the wedding ring on her left hand’s ring finger. I screamed and cried a lot. So... her too. There was no more to talk. Silent was so good, rather than making sad by talking any more. She left me after few minutes and promised to visit me again, as soon as possible.
When she was leaving I felt that, there is no more strength to live, in my body or soul.
After 13 days of the above event, one morning, a nurse found Pearl's death body, on the bed in the nursing room. His diary was found inside his pillow cover.
