When I met Josh

Chapter Two

Putting in my headphones I slump down in the sixth form comon room. I have a free period so I should really get started on my drama coursework but I really can't bring myself to do it. "Carter," I hear a loud voice shout. I take out one of my headphones so their voice is less muffled. I look up to see Kelly Jones, she is one of those really bitchy girls that every school has. You know three quaters of the year hate her but are nice to her as they are scared of her and the other quater want to be her. "What?" I respond to her. "Aw Carter sitting by herself. Don't worry honey maybe one day you'll find a friend," She says. Her gang of girls all giggle as they walk off. It's not that one slightly spiteful comment that gets to me. It's the build up. The constant put downs. Being made to feel like shit at school. Then it's not even like I have a happy place to go home to. I pick up my rugged old satchal and leave. I've got English next period but I really don't care. This isn't uncommon for me to leave school early. If Vicky asks why I am home so early I just say I had another free period. I walk out of the school gates. Cold war kids blasting through my headphones. I take the bus home and run straight into my room. I shove my satchal on the floor and look at my reflection in my mirror. I chuck a can of deadoriant in the mirror and watch a tiny shatter appear followed by a series of shatters comming of it making my face appear in eight different sections. "Fuck," I scream. 7 years bad luck. Not that it would make a difference my life is one big bad luck . Tears stream down my face and I slump in the corner of my room. Hyperventilating I just sit there. crying. Still. Almost paralysed by the sting of rejection I feel in my heart. The lack of love I am given in my life is astonishing. Honestly I can't remember the last time someone hugged me. I feel sick to the bottom of my stomach. My eyes scan my bedroom. My sacred haven. The only place I feel fully relaxed. I don't even feel safe here anymore. I'm just sick of everything. I'm sick of school. I'm sick of my alcoholic mum, I'm sick of oblivious dad, I'm sick of bitchy Kelly Jones. I'm sick of everything in my life. I don't exactly know what cracked me today I think it's just a build up of everything. I then run to my draw. My special draw. I should really get rid of this draw but I can't help it. When I feel this bad. Usually a few times a week this draw is the first thing I go to. I swing open my underwear draw and part my underwear to the sides to reveal my secret stash. I grab a wine bottle, pack of cigerates, a bottle of vodka. I blast my music out of my docking station. Tears pouring from my eyes. Opening the wine I take a look round my room and laugh crazily to myself through my tears. "Party for one bitches" I scream. Soon this pain will be gone I think to myself.I take big gulps of the wine then go to light up the cigerate. After a while my surroundings turn into a colourful blur. 

I know this feeling unfortunately I know it too well. I sit up slowly and as I do an empty bottle of wine falls to the floor along with about 8 cigarettes butts. My eyes scan to my alarm clock. 1 am. With only a headache and an empty bottle of wine to go by I'm guessing things got pretty nasty last night. I remember starting to drink at like 2 pm. I've been out for a good 10 hours at least. I look over to see a full vodka bottle. Thank god I didn't start on that. Do you want to know whats hilarious? My 'family' didn't even bother to check up on me. They had no clue. I grab my jacket and climb out of my window. I need to get out of here. I keep walking down random roads listening to my music in my own bubble. I then come across a woods I often wonder into. Although this means I am far away from home. Like in a whole different town. Must be at least 6 miles away.  I decide to turn into the woods. Pondering through the fallen leaves that crunch with every step you take. People often get scared in woods but I love it. Just me and nature. Walking under the huge overpowering trees I feel protected by them. I carry on for a while. I hear a muffled voice. Startled I take out one of my earphones. "Hey darling, What's your name?" I swing around to the direction of the voice. I then notice a group of 6 people. Probably around the age of twenty. Two of them have guitars and they are all sitting in a circle on stumps of trees. "We see you here a lot, in your own world," a man with a guitar says. Looking round the group of people they same quite indie and hippy-ish, hesitantly  I head over to them. "Carter, my names Carter," I say. The same man as before smiles at me. They have a camp fire going in the middle of the circle so I can see them all clearly. "My names Josh, this is Danny," He says pointing to a guy with longish hair down to his ears. He smiles at me so I smile back. "This is Kai," He says pointing to a red head with gorgeous long wavy hair that cascades to her hip bone. She also smiles at me. "And this is River," He says pointing to the last person. She has lilac hair down to her shoulders. Exactly what someone with a name like River should look like."Come and sit with us if you want, we're just messing about singing on the guitars" Josh says. He has these huge brown eyes that look right into yours when he speaks. "Yeah sounds cool," I say. I sit on one of the tree stumps. What? even I'm shocked at my response. 

"You know cold war kids?" He asks. 

"Yes! They are my favourite, " I reply

"Cool, lets do we used to vacation"

 Josh and Danny start strumming away on the guitar and we all start singing, pitching in different harmonies and lyrics. Honestly it sounded beautiful. In this moment I felt amazing. There is something so satisfying about spontaneous brilliance. It felt as if the whole woods stood still. As if it were in awe of the magic we were creating. This is so new to me. I'm not used to having friends I know I sound so pathetic. It's so weird I have just met this people in the weirdest situation but I already feel a tight bond with them. We play a few songs for a while then out comes a few drinks of vodka and we start getting more and more out of tune. No one is wasted though. Just a bit tipsy. Throughout all the songs Josh looked right into my eyes. 

"Well done guys. We made it till 6 am," Kai says checking her phone. 

"Oh shit," I say. 

"Do you need to go now?" Josh asks.

"Yeah I really do," I say suddenly getting panicked. "Ok look don't worry, I've parked my car outside I'll give you a lift, I insist," Ok so now I'm about to accept a lift of a stranger. Hey, desperate times cause for desperate measures. "OK fine, wait haven't you drunk a lot?"

"Nah not really, I stay sober when I drive darling," I nod my head and we walk out of the woods. He leads me to a car. It's quite old and vintage but with a lot of character. Exactly what you would expect from someone like Josh. I give him my address and he starts driving. "You intrigue me" He said to me.  At that moment it was like someone had light off an explosive firework in my stomach. I intrigue him? Looking over to him he is pretty gorgeous. "How?" I ask him, looking to him driving. He has gorgeous brown curly hair, chocolate coloured eyes, sharp cheekbones and stubble. How could someone like me intrigue him. 

"We go to this woods quite a lot and we've seen you roaming about at like 1 in the morning by yourself in your own world. What's your story?"

I cough out loud, taken aback by this "my... my story?" I ask confused.

"Yeah, no nice, normal middle class white girl would be roaming the woods every other day at 1 in the morning, blaring music to take themselves into another world,"

Completely baffled where all this has come from I don't really know what to reply with. I've never told anyone my struggles because quite frankly I'm not close enough to anyone to share this and to be honest no one in my life would really care anyway. As we reach a red light he looks at me again for a split second. "I know this may seem... out of place for me to say, Looking at you now you look...pained, I don't  know but I reckon you've been through shit" he says starring back at the road.

"Well, I can tell you this, a lot of people have it worse then me,"

"I knew you would give me an answer like that," How, he doesn't even know me?

We drive to the beginning of my road. "Oh just drop me of here," 

"Ok darling, oh wait. I haven't got your number, put it in my phone," He hands me his phone and I wait silent for a few moments. Feeling the weight of his phone in my hand. I know I am so fucking pathetic but I never get asked for my number by anyone. 'Don't tell me you got some dickhead boyfriend," He says looking at me. This actually made me laugh a bit and I shake my head and do what I always do and at least pretend I'm not a loner  so I punch in my number like I do it all the time. "Talk to you later darling,"  he says to me. 

I leave his car and walk up to my house. To my horror I see Vicky outside in her pyjamas putting the bins out. And it's to late to hide. The bitch has seen me"Carter what the hell are you doing?" She whisper screams. 

"Relax, I just went out for a morning jog," I say pretending to pant. Yeah I styled that one out. Vicky looks my up at down and lets out a chuckle. "Ha, good luck keeping jogging up. I bet you'll give up in a day,"

I then walk into my house as if nothing weird has happened at all. Like I haven't been walking through the woods at 1 am by myself. Like I haven't just sat and had drinks with random 20 something's, like I haven't just had a lift home of a strange guy asking me questions about my life.