Wat nou?

Hoofstuk 4:

Salomay

Dit word donker soos wat ons aan ry. Ek weet nie eers meer waar presies ons is nie. Al wat ek weet is dat ons wes ry. En die enigste manier hoekom ek onthou waar Noord, Suid, Oos en Wes is, is omdat ek daai liedjie van Beauty and the Beast ken.

"Certain as the sun

rising in the east."

En my ma se ou rympie:

"Noord, Suid, Oos, Wes. Nou Weet Sy Ook."
Ek laat my kop terug teen die stoel val. Die vel om my gewrigte is nou al rooi geskuur van die cable ties. En ek is naar. Dit is wragtig waar die een blerrie ding van myself waarvan ek niks hou nie.

Ek word ongelooflik maklik kar-siek.

En die kar waarin ons op die oomblik sit is klein en beknop en dit is warm en ek wil huis toe gaan en ek is bang.

Ek snork amper kliphard.

Salomay van der Merwe is bang.

Ek het al my vrees verloor die dag toe die diewe by ons huis ingebreek het.

Hulle gewere uit hul sakke getrek en my ouers beveel om die waardevolste goed in die huis vir hulle te bring. Maar dit was die ding. Ons is nie so 'n ongelooflike ryk familie nie- ons leef gemaklik. Die diewe was nie baie happy dat my ouers nie so veel items gebring het soos wat hulle wou gehad het nie. Hulle het gedink ons steek iets weg.

'n Dief het 'n geweer teen my pa se kop gedruk en gedreig om die trigger te trek. My ma se gehuil spook nog in my drome. Die diewe het gedink dis net my ouers. Hulle het nie geweet van die tiener meisie-kind in haar kamer nie.

Hulle wou my ouers skiet. Ek het hulle altwee met my sagteball-bat teen die kop gedinges. Een het dit nie gemaak nie. Die ander was in die hospitaal vir 'n ruk gewees en toe stuur hulle hom tronk toe.

Die regter het my saak met die bat verklaar as self-verdediging, maar ek sal nog steeds nie aan my sagtebal-bat vat nie. Ek neem nie eers meer deel aan die sport nie.

Ek is nie meer bang vir die klein dinge in lewe nie.

Maar ek slaan steeds bietjie sweet uit as ek dink wat vir my in my toekoms op die stadium lê.

Keith:

She was quiet the rest of the trip, staring out of the window as if it contained the entire explanation of the universe.

How do I explain her to Dayne?

A lightbulb switched on in my head. Answer: I don't.

I'll drop her off somewhere at a resturant, she can call her parents and go home. Like this never happened.

She doesn't know my surname, my identiy is a close-kept secret and she doesn't know where I'm headed. My name isn't registered anywhere in the world.

Keith Vance just doesn't exist. He's a ghost.

"Listen," I said, and cleared my throat. She didn't move. Her eyes didn't even flick up. "I'm dropping you off at the corner of the street up ahead. You're free to go. Call your parents. Go home. You can even report me. You just need to go."

At that, her eyes did move up to meet mine. "What's the trick?" she asked, hollowly. A sudden guilt hit me. When was the last time she ate? She must have been starving. "I walk away, thinking I'm free, then the next moment you shoot me in the back?"

I held her gaze, even though it tore at a part of me I tried to forget. "Think what you like, Salomay. But I didn't have a choice."

She knew I was talking about the mall. Her gaze wavered a little but held steady. "What happened to 'We always have a choice'?"
I felt the corner of my mouth tug up in response. There was no humour in the small grin. "Let me rephrase my words. It was either me setting that bomb off, or me refusing to do it, then getting killed as punishment."
"All those lives..." she murmured, "Just to save yours."
"The bomb would have been set off, regardless if it was me or someone else. There is no scenario where that does not include the bomb exploding."
Her gaze dropped and it felt like I could breathe again. What was it about this girl who could so easily find the cracks in my walls and rip them open entirely?

"Come on," I said, and reached over in the back to cut the cable ties. "Time for you to go home."
I severed the ties and she flexed her hands. For a moment, it looked like she considered hitting me in the face but then she relaxed. I parked the car next to the curb and she reached for the door handle.

"Thank you-" she began but was cut off by a loud bang and the window shattering.