"She heard the whispering of the wind, and it reminded her of what she’d lost”
(C) BrielleDeLloyd 2014.
I was coming back from a night out with my friends, I had this small gut feeling that I was about to be confronted about something, somethig that gave me that gut feeling that something was going to be revealed. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. . Walking through the door of my apartment was different this time around. “Cher, I need to talk to you.” Jack says, in a tone that made him sound really upset. And his posture confirmed it. I knew what this was about, that one bet I had made with Melanie at the beginning of the year, about wether I can hook up with the new kid in school, Jack Gilinsky or not. Of course I had won, but at what cost? “What is it?” an epic fail to play stupid as I sit down in the couch hoping this conversation doesn’t go for the worse. “So… I’ve been hearing around that you have made a ‘bet’ with someone, wether you could or could not hook up with me.” he says in the most serious tone I have ever heard him in. “Look, Jack, the whole bet thing.. well… it’s true. but-“ I was interrupted “Are you fucking kidding me? Really?” Jack yells as he impatientlypaces around the living room “I’m sorry.” was the only thing that I was able to say. I was too embarrassed and too ashamed to yell back and explain myself. and even if I wasn’t, what would I say? that he was just a target in a stupid bet i had made ten months ago? Jack became something so much stronger for me throughout the course of this year. It started out as him being the new one in just everyone’s eyes. It wasn’t the same for me, I had strong feelings for him, and I knew that the bet knawing away on my conscience wouldn’t leave me alone. We started to get closer and closer, and with every day, the guilt started to grow bigger and bigger. I couldn’t take it. I knew that he was going to eventually find out about it, but I was hoping it would be in like fifteen years or so when we were either married or we were far far away from eachother. Dammit. "I'm.. sorry" i mumbled out as I felt myself shrink on the inside. “I’m sorry isn’t going to be enough, Cher. Do you have any fucking idea how much this hurts?” he says as a tear starts to roll down his face. “I wanted to tell you about it but-“ “But what? you were gonna wait until we got married or what?” He spits out at my face The fact that he said ‘until we got married’ got me thinking and pondering. “Do you really think we were going to be together that long?” I say in the most innocent voice i subconsciously projected, trying not to sound weirded out. It was like he read my mind there for a second. “… well yes. Cher, I love you. You're something special. I thought that what we had is strong, outlasting anything that life throws at it, jealousy, breakup attempts, all that shit. but now I see that it was all too good to be true. I see that this is all just a bunch of bullshit used to entertain yourself and your little friend. Both you and Melanie crushed the living fuck out of my hopes and dreams for the future.” Jack’s mini speech just made me feel worse by the second. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die. I sat there frozen, not being able to move even though I wanted to. I wanted to go up to him and just hug him and ever let him go, to be able to explain everything. But I couldn’t. The guilt was killing me by the second. I was remembering all of the good times me and Jack have had. Our first date, going on tour with him and the other guys, the nights we stayed in and watched breaking bad together because it reminded me from where I came from and calmed my homesickness while he let me rest my head on his lap and he would brush my hair or how he would let me sleep on top of him, our nights out, all that mushy boyfriend/girlfriend stuff that I used to mock. I felt all of that slip away faster than water slips through fingers. When I snapped back into reality, I noticed that Jack was collecting all of the things that he had given me throughout this past year, like the huge teddy bear he got me at the local fair, the Magcon sweatshirt he bought for me drenched in his own cologne, the last bouquet of roses he gave me a few days ago. All of it. All of those precious memories of him were about to be gone, at least that's what i thought at the moment. I also noticed he took the matches from the kitchen drawer as well as a bottle of lighter fluid. “Jack, what exactly are you going to do with all of that stuff?” i asked him with a concerned look on my face. “You’ll see.” he calmly replies as he hauls all of the stuff out the door. I followed Jack out to the balcony, where he walked out towards an empty barrel that seems to be made out of metal. He dumped all of the things inside the barrel, He then proceeds to empty out the bottle of lighter fluid all over the stuff inside the barrel. He got a few drops of it on his shirt, which he takes off and throws it into the pile. Taking a match out of the box of lighters, he stroked the match against the box to light it and throws it into the barrel. It light up so fast, slowly destroying the gifts. We both stared at the flame for what felt like forever. The memories from where every single gift came from started to come back to me as I was staring at the fire. “Look, Cher, I love you so much, so much that I won't let a stupid bet tear us apart. What we have is something so strong that not even stupid things like this won’t break that.” Jack’s words took me by surprise. “But wait… i thought that-“ i tried to explain myself He grabs me by the waist and gently cups my head in his hands to get me closer to him, “I know what your feelings are for me. I know that throughout the year you feelings for me got stronger, like mine for you have. Your presence next to mine is something that I crave every day, and I know that my existence is something you crave every day too. It’s as if this bet was destiny’s way of having us be together.” Jack’s words were something that took my breath away, “I love you, Jack Gilinsky” was the only thing I was able to say. With that in mind, He leans in close and plants a long kiss on my lips. It’s moments like this that I wish I could freeze forever.
