Broken Butterfly

2014

Broken Butterfly
By: Wade Pierson

NOVEMBER 21st, 2014
"Could you give the eulogy...?" Her mother asked me, sniffling with a tissue in front of her face and tears rolling down. "No, Ms. Daud, I can't... Just give the sermon." I replied, frustratedly. "Please Kyle...please." She asked again, making it more difficult to refuse...so I accepted. "Alright, Ms. Daud..." I said after thinking for a couple minutes. "You can pick your own verse from the Bible, no ones gonna judge you. You knew her better than anyone else." She said with a bit of a smile, but still tearing up. I was going to walk up to the podium, but she stopped me and said "Thank you, Kyle. With me, there is only peace between us."

It was Brianna Daud's funeral...my best friend since middle school. I remember when we used to cheat off each other's paper in algebra or fake our push-ups during the fitness test in gym. On Fridays, she'd dress up astoundingly and I'd always have a different compliment everyday. She's...she was a great friend of mine. But I was driving, not her...I was... Forget it...

"Kyle, could you ah..come up and say a few words?" Mr. Daud asked me, making everyone in the church turn their heads and look at me because they all knew the story. I nodded my head and walked up very slowly to the podium. I kept fiddling with my cast because it was bugging me. As soon as I got up there I just said whatever 'Brianna Daud' reminded me of that day.

"Um...I don't want to offend anyone with anything I say up here, so I'll keep it short." "Stay up there as long as you want Kyle, no ones gonna be offended today." Mr. Daud shouted from the front row.

"Alright..." I replied with a little uncomfortable tone in my voice. I cleared my throat and began to talk again. "I know everyone here today is, well...frustrated and saddened... But you all know she...she wouldn't want that. She wouldn't want that for any of us... Me and Brianna we- we were practically brother and sister. We did, like, everything together. We'd play games, we would listen to music. I mean, she would even let me do her hair on some days just because 'she didn't feel like it."

I was just warming everyone up in the church for a bit. Making them smile and laugh. Funerals shouldn't have to be sad all the way through.

"In all seriousness..." I stated before clearing my throat. "...Brianna was like a butterfly. She'd always shine her brightest, even on her stormy days. And as we got older, her wings stayed the same. They never faded, never fell off- they were always there. But um...well, I kinda wanna read you this verse from the bible that depicts her for me." I all if a sudden just stared at the podium for a little bit and didn't even notice a tear had fell down my face. "Kyle..." Ms. Daud said to give me reassurance of where I was. "Yes, I'm sorry about that..." I said while laughing the pain off and wiping away my tears. I then sighed, cleared my throat and began to talk again. "Okay, this verse is from Peter 3:3-4..."Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

"And that was how I depicted her...it wasn't the fact that she was beautiful, it wasn't the fact that she always looked gorgeous on Fridays at school, but it was the fact that her heart was the thing that made me adore her. Every time I would think of her, my heart would just pound, and I often...I often think if she felt the same way nowadays.."

As soon as I started talking about my heart, I started tearing up. But how could I not? If you loved someone the way I loved her and they died without you knowing the answer, wouldn't you cry and know that it hurts too?

I started smiling and wiping the tears away, but the more and more I talked, the more emotional it got and the more I kept sniffling. "But Y'know, Brianna had that, like, magnet. My heart was metal and hers was the magnet, but now that she's gone...there's NOTHING to pull me..." I broke down...I thought I was going to die at the podium, but I realized that the truth had to be said.

"Mr and Ms. Daud I have a confession to make!" I said while widening my eyes, making everyone in the church curious. "The doctors...the police, they lied to you. They all LIED! Brianna Daud did not die from a hit and run! I was behind the wheel! I was the DRUNK DRIVER! I KILLED...my best friend." I said with so many tears and so much emotion it felt as if my heart were going to fall out of my chest.

Everyone was talking, shouting at me, but I just had my eyes locked on Brianna's parents and though 'how could I ever repay them for the damages I've done?' There faces were disoriented and full of confusion, sadness and anger...but I kept on telling the truth.

"I ran out of my car and, just- I mean, there she was...she was right there in my eyes, IN MY EYES JUST RIGHT THERE! I walked over to her with my hands trembling and I knelt to the ground and we talked..."

NOVEMBER 12th, 2014

"Don't cry...you'll just make me sad." She said while touching my face slowly and gently. "Brianna I...what did..."-"Shhh you're gonna make me scared. I don't want that Kyle." She told me softly with a smile. "Carry me away from here." "Anywhere you want." I said while picking her up and sniffling, but holding back my tears for her.

As I was carrying her down the dark, lonely road, I had no train of thought. My mind was blank as if I weren't even alive though I was functioning alright. "Remember...remember when I fell in gym and I looked at you and said 'why do I always get myself dirty?" I instinctually replied to her. "Because diamonds have to clean themselves before they can shine again." I saw her smile in my arms, but she looked as if she were drifting, so I hurried to my destination.

The hospital was about three blocks away. The street lamps were dim and there was only a few cars out. I was jogging now, with her still in my arms, beginning to panic because she was drifting. "Brianna, stay with me girl. C'mon, you aren't leaving me like this. I won't allow you to"-" Shh, it's okay Kyle. I forgive you...you are so...your stronger than I remembered Kyle." She said while leaning up, but I said "Stop, stop. Save your energy."

"You are so smart Kyle...I love you. Tell the doctors it wasn't you..." She said, making my heart feel like it was struck by Gods thunder. I had felt as if he struck my entire body when we entered the hospital.

"HELP!!" I yelled in the most serious voice I have every made in my life. "I need a doctor, please!" I shouted again. I saw doctors and nurses rushing from the corridor with a bed. "What happened?" The doctor putting on his gloves asked me as they put her on the bed and started rolling her to the room. "Some guy just hit her on the side on the road." I said while tearing up, sniffling and  walking with them. "Kyle, I need you to be strong buddy, okay?" Brianna said in a weak voice while touching my face again. "You are going to be the bravest man at my funeral, because you are my best friend." "Don't say that, Brianna." I said with a rolling tear down my face as we neared the door that I couldn't go through with her. The doctor pushing the bed looked at me when she said that, and I knew he knew I was hurt.

"Shh...you're a good man, Kyle. Don't let anybody tell...tell you different." I was getting frustrated because we were closing in on the door. "Why do you have to do these things, Brianna?" I asked with so much pain and concern. "Isn't it obvious? God wants me home, and I'm sending you an invitation when I get there..."