I started high school. Freshman year. I couldn't decide if it was better or worse than middle school. On second thought, worse. I was that girl people picked on since elementary. Idiots. That's what they all were. I still minded my business regardless. I've had one true friend since kindergarten, she's the best. We didn't have classes together so that was lame. I think to myself a lot, kind of a habit when you don't have many friends except yourself, but even then, you're your own worst enemy. I was an A student most of the time, that very cliché stereotype in those high school books, movies, TV shows. That's basically me.
After the first week of figuring out my dumb locker, I remembered it easily because it was the last one of the aisle next to a classroom door. Easy. It wasn't until the second week of school when I noticed the teacher of the class next to my locker would open his door and keep it open with a stool for the next period to enter. He looked at me and smiled (since I was obviously not there last year). I blushed. He was so handsome. He seemed kind of too young to be a teacher but that didn't matter. I smiled back and he went back inside. I closed my locker and walked to my next class, I didn't think much of it.....at first.
After a few weeks passed and everything and school just seemed routine, I would go to my locker, and he'd either be opening his door or already standing by the door awaiting his next class. We'd smile at each other, say good morning and move on. Eventually I learned that he was a chemistry teacher, and that he even recently became a teacher 2 years ago which explained his surprisingly young features. He'd dress either casual or real snappy. Either way, he looked good in anything. I also learned his name. His name was Mr. Kim.
A Korean name.... I assumed correctly. I'm Latina if you're wondering.
Weeks and weeks passed by of the same thing. Over and over and over again. We'd smile and move on. I didn't even noticed when things changed a little. It just became natural at this point. When I was at my locker and he was already there, he'd smile and he would tease me by either changing my locker combination on the lock or by closing my locker while I was trying to use it. I would get flustered, smile like an idiot and whine his name as some way to retaliate against his action. "Mr. Kim!~"
He would just laugh it off and go back inside his classroom. I would blush and smile to myself as I went on to my next class. On my way there, I would think about the moment that just passed and think about his smile and laugh, his charming overall appeal. It was one of the things that made my day since everyday was hell. Those moments were the light to my darkness.
Same thing went on for months by now, and each time, my 'crush' eventually evolved. Now I knew it was wrong for a teacher and student to be together. Morally, lawfully, professionally, whether the student was a minor or consenting adult. It's there for a reason, but I didn't think about that. Nothing outrageous happened. Just the locker moments and me day dreaming of them. Looking forward to each day or each time he would do it.
You'd probably think it was too weird or too awkward but it really wasn't. It was our thing.
After some time, we'd probably talk a little bit more by my locker. The "Hey, good morning" "Hey, how are you?". He seemed so nice. It felt good to be treated with kindness after bad experiences with bad people. I don't know why I was so drawn to him a first. I couldn't tell if it was his photogenic smile, his good looks or his simple kind gestures.
I was in an abusive relationship at the time, he was the reason for my hell and suffering so I enjoyed it when people were nice to me, especially Mr. Kim. It went on for a year, my abusive and toxic relationship and my moments with Mr. Kim. It was around this time when I fantasized about happy endings and clichés from those high school movies. They were my escape from this reality. My longing for something better. My longing for someone like Mr. Kim.
"I can be surrounded by a sea of people and still feel all alone. Then I think of you."
- A Cinderella Story (2004)
