As The Light Flicker

Kabanata 2

It was Friday. The kind of Friday that felt too heavy for a day with only one class.

The morning air clung to my skin... warm, a little too still. I stepped out of the dormitory with my tote bag slung over one shoulder, my ponytail pulled tight, not a strand out of place. The sun was already rising high, casting long shadows behind me as I made my way down the quiet campus path.

UST was alive as usual... students scattered across benches and shaded spots, laughter rising in pockets, the distant thud of basketballs from the covered court, someone strumming a guitar on the steps near the main building.

But everything felt far away.

Muted.

I only had one subject this morning. Just one. And then at 6 p.m., I had a scheduled SSG meeting for the upcoming university fair... an important one. The kind that required my full presence, mental sharpness, and composure.

But my thoughts weren't there.

They were already at 8 p.m.

Lucas' family dinner.

"Don't be late. I won't take no as an answer," he had said over the phone last night. Calm. Final. Not open to discussion.

I read his text again this morning while brushing my hair... my hand slowing, pausing mid-stroke, eyes staring blankly at the mirror. The words echoed like a pulse under my skin.

Now, sitting on one of the concrete benches near the Psychology building, I kept checking the time. 10:18 a.m. I crossed one leg over the other and smoothed the fabric of my skirt with careful fingers. I adjusted the strap of my bag where it pressed against my collarbone. Small things. Small distractions.

I ran my fingertips over the metal zipper of my bag. The texture was familiar... cold, smooth, grounding. I tapped my fingers once on my thigh. Then again. A quiet rhythm just to remind myself I was still here.

Above me, the trees swayed lazily with the breeze. The leaves flickered against the sunlight, casting gentle shadows across the pavement. I stared at them for a long while, letting their quiet movement fill the silence in my head.

But the stillness didn't stay.

The weight of expectation, of time, of being two different versions of myself in one day... it pressed into my spine, into the corners of my mind.

Kate, the composed SSG President.
Kate, the perfect girlfriend, always on time, always agreeable, always soft-spoken when he's angry.

I glanced at my phone again, as if expecting another message. Nothing. Just the same old wallpaper, the same battery icon, the same date I already dreaded.

I sighed.

Deep. Controlled. Then tucked my phone back into my bag. There were hours to go before nightfall. But I already felt tired.

The SSG conference room smelled like old paper and freshly printed documents. The fluorescent lights above hummed faintly... steady, low, constant, almost like background noise to the low murmur of voices and the rustling of folders. I sat at the head of the table, fingers gently drumming against the surface, my notes open in front of me.

We were finalizing the logistics for the university fair. Madami pa ring hindi tapos. We were behind schedule, but I didn't show it. Calm, steady. Organized chaos, but in my head, everything had its place.

I took a breath and lifted my pen again, underlining the words sponsorship deadline in my planner.

Then-

Tok tok tok.

The room fell briefly silent. All heads turned toward the door.

"Pasok," sabi ng isa sa mga officers.