A Little Backwards

What twenty-one-year-old hasn't drank yet?

"Smile, cuties!"

Kennedy crushes me closer and I grimace as Natalie's phone flash goes off, momentarily blinding me.

"Nat, please delete that immediately." I groan as I detach myself from Kennedy, peeling his fingers from my waist.

Natalie ambles over to us, flashing me her pearly whites and turning her phone towards me. I cringe as I catch sight of the picture. Kennedy looks picture perfect, as usual, his dirty blond hair styled perfectly and his smile wide. I, on the other hand, look washed out and in pain. My light blonde hair looks white due to the flash and my freckles stand out in stark contrast to my pale skin.

"No way!" Natalie defends, holding her phone to her chest and pretending to cuddle it. "You guys look adorable! Plus, I have to keep it for your wedding photos."

She pokes my side teasingly and I roll my eyes at her. There's no way Kennedy and I will ever get married. I like women. And if Natalie hasn't caught on to that small fact about her best friend yet, then I'm not sure she ever will. I feel warm hands splay across my waist and Kennedy's familiar scent washes over me. He looks down at me and tugs me backwards into his chest possessively.

"Send me the picture please, Natty?"

"But, of course KenKen." She wiggles her eyebrows at him and then quickly glances at me before looking back down at her phone.

I feel the side of my mouth tip down at the exchange. Since when do they have nicknames for each other? I look up at Kennedy's face to notice his brows knit together tightly.

"Are you okay, Ken?" I turn to face him in concern and he coughs and lets go of my waist.

"Yeah, Billie," He nods down at me and offers me a small smile, "I'm alright."

I look between the two of them again before shaking my head. I'm just imagining things.

"Well, I guess I better let you two get to your girls' night then, right?"

"Yeah, Ken, I'll see you tomorrow night?" I give him a small smile, and when he leans down to kiss me, allow him to give me a quick peck on the lips.

"Alright, well, don't have too much fun without me." He squeezes my hand and throws Natalie a wink before leaving our small apartment.

I realize I'm alone with Natalie, finally, and my stomach twists. As happy as I am to have my best friend as my roommate, I also have to swallow the fact that I've recently discovered. I love her. As in, more than a best friend. As in, I want a relationship with her. And her being straight, and me dating Kennedy for the past two years to cover up that I'm in fact, not straight, complicates things.

I slowly turn to find Natalie texting rapidly on her phone, not having moved an inch since Kennedy left.

"Who ya texting, Nat?" I ask, trying to put a playful lilt in my voice to push the raspy quality of it out. Being alone with her is becoming more awkward for me by the day.

She looks up at me with wide eyes and stares for a second, as if she didn't comprehend the question. Finally, she slips her phone into her back pocket and smiles brightly.

"Oh, no one. Just some guy from some party last week."

I roll my eyes at her as I walk into the kitchen to start popping some popcorn. Our girls' nights usually consist of cheesy romance comedies, popcorn, and as much chocolate as our bodies can handle. Natalie is always going to parties and by proxy, always trying to drag me along. I've successfully avoided going with her for over two years now, but she hasn't given up. So, I'm not surprised when she speaks up again.