Dear Margaret

A new beginning

It was indeed a new beginning. I was just trying to resist the thought of falling for her again. But it would happen one day, wouldn't it? And it did. As we grew close again, the feelings came back. And we used to chat like before, but only during the nights. We used to chat till 2 or 1:30 in the morning. My sleep schedule was messed up but I really didn't care.

      After the exams, the chatting continued and I was cherishing those moments. For one day, it would stop and yes it did. But it didn't bother me much this time around because I was chatting with Rachel. I mean if someone or something keeps you occupied, you don't feel the  difference. Rachel is a really good friend. I used to share almost everything about Margaret with her . So after tenth grade we had to change our school because our current school only taught us till then tenth grade. So Me, Sam, Albert , Kaitlyn, Ashley Benson, Rachel and Margaret were all in the same high school. Others had departed for other high schools. But don't get me wrong, we all were still pretty close. Ashley Benson and Sam were in a relationship with each other so they both were in the same high school, Albert wanted to be with the majority of us , and Margaret being in the same high school as me was a mere coincidence. Rachel too. Kaitlyn had decided to come to our  high school after she heard that so many of us were going there.
   
    So the year began. And it was really boring and long. The timings had changed by a lot and we had to stay longer at high school so it was a bit of a problem for us to get set to the timings but we managed it all somehow. Fast forward to around 2 months in the high school and Margaret was already acting weird around me. Well I hadn't yet told her that my feelings for her were back.

   So one day I just decided to ask her, why she was acting like that. And she said that she was feeling uncomfortable with me because she had a feeling that I still loved her. I confessed to her that yes I  really did. She said that she was feeling uncomfortable when I was being possessive about her which was really weird because I was extra cautious to not be possessive over her. But I just decided to agree and say that I won't do it. I didn't want to create any drama again. So we decided to stay normal with each other which wasn't really a problem because I had been doing that for months.

     We remained normal for a month, at least I did , she ignored my messages, wasn't comfortable around me , and when I asked her if something was wrong, she said  "We are normal" . She says that and the next moment she's clearly uncomfortable around me.

It went on for quite a while until one day when I finally decided to speak to her about it. We spoke for about 30 minutes on that matter . And I swear after that I felt light. I was depressed for the past three to four days but after this I felt really very light. By this time I had a new crush in my high school. Her name was Sarah. As  my crush on her grew, I started to give up on Margaret. All my life, people had asked me to give up on Margaret, and I felt that it was impossible. But trust me it isn't. It isn't easy but it isn't tough. All you gotta have is will power. Anything's possible.

  Soon I started chatting with Sarah on Instagram. And as I spoke more to her, I started liking her more. Day by day, everyday, my crush on her increased , and I stopped caring so much about Margaret. It was the time for a new beginning.

   And that's how we grew apart. I mean, I was the only one trying keep our friendship from breaking and when I stopped trying, we automatically stopped talking. And it scares me how someone who was so close to you just a few months ago, can become a total stranger in a matter of days, or HOURS. It's so easy to lose someone but it's very difficult to get someone and it's even more tougher to keep them. So I just want to tell you all, whatever it is, whoever it is, if they aren't trying to be in your life, don't force them. Stop texting them first, stop caring, let go. If they care about you, they'll come back, and if they don't.... Well I can just say find someone new, like I did . Good luck!