Explicit [GirlxGirl - Complete]

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

There was just a moment of hesitation. If I wasn't inside my head—if I wasn't me—I wouldn't have noticed. No one would have noticed. But that light hesitation fell away to a determination that I've never known. My entire life has always been a constant struggle to make decisions. I second guess myself, think too long, and often rather than not, I give up and don't make a choice. I think that's what ended me on this path. Liza couldn't stand that I wasn't happy and I couldn't stand that she couldn't choose someone to love.

Neither of us had ever realized those are things that you can't choose.

I lifted my hand, no longer scared of what would happen to me. I know that if I don't do this then I'll end up like my old self. Wandering with no clue as to where I'm going.

I knocked. The silence that came after made my head pound.

The door opened.

Lianna stared blankly back at me. I didn't try to talk. I knew that she wouldn't listen to any of the words I had to say.

She turned and walked back into the room. The door was left open. I followed her in.

The room was a mess. It was as if a tornados had come through, wipping through the clothes, bedding, and shelves that had been on the wall. What was left of the room I'd once fell in love with was nothing but trash. Trash that could be salvaged, but most of it looked like it didn't want to be saved.

I held back the gasp. I didn't want to be dramatic. I shouldn't be dramatic because this wasn't my life. This was Lianna's world and I had nothing to do with it.

I cleared my throat. I thought she would have said something by now. I didn't know we would sit in silence. To be frank, I thought she would slam the door in my face. I guess I should have thought about what I was going to do once I was actually inside.

She began going through the Knickknacks on her bed. She tossed some on the ground and only save two porcelain masks. She carefully placed them into the box.

She tossed more things around. I still didn't move. It felt like a frozen moment in time which I didn't exist. It felt almost like I was spying in on her life and it felt so much better than living mine. Though I could tell that she was in pain, I wanted to devour the emotion. It felt better than not feeling at all.

She began to throw the things harder into the box. I heard clinks and clanks. It got so bad that I winced at one part, but this was her outlet. I wasn't going to take that away from her.

The sounds got louder.

The whole thing came to a crashing halt as something inside the box shattered. My held breath whooshed out of me like my lungs were being squeezed. I stared at the box and Lianna's heaving chest. She clenched her hand and swung them at the box. Each hit rattled the broken glass inside. I pressed my lips together, pushing down the screams that were rising inside my throat. I kept them back not only because I was ashamed at my reaction, but because I knew that this was a show for me. She might not have intended it. She might not even know she's doing it.

She's showing me how much she cares.

And for weeks, since I met her, I thought she was nothing but an empty shell like me. Though, I thought she was worse because she used her body like a vessel for these unfeelings. She tried to get the same thing I was chasing after by going after bodies and the hearts of others. I don't know or care how many she's been with. I just know that I don't care.

The weight from my shoulders has been lifted, yet replaced with another haunting thing.

The tide is rising. I can't breathe in this damn tiny room. Where Carol and Lianna lived for a short time, but their impact on my life was unfair. They'd turned everything upside down. Lianna the most. She was the catalyst, the one thing I had no control over.