Work in Progress.
It was a simple question. Yes or no. Any functioning person could have answered it with one of those words. If she did I would not be strangled and twisted like a mouse caught by a snake. Right now I would be joking around with my friends if she answered like a decent person. Instead I decided to write a crappy memoir just like my therapist suggested.
Ellenor. She is the most beautiful girl in the school. She has large gray eyes and shoulder length blond thick hair. No, she wasn’t popular. No, she didn’t have the biggest breasts or caked on layers of makeup. Ellenor played video games, read homestuck, and loved teen titans. Most called her a fake girl gamer, nerd, and weirdo. I saw beauty.
We met in health class two years ago when the teacher was talking about sex. I was sitting next to her we both wore the same borde expression.
“Dicklet, I choose you!” I muttered into her ear.
Eleanor's mouth curled into a smile and fell into a pile of laughter. The whole class snapped their heads to see Ellenor cackling and shout, ‘dicklet’.
Ever since then we became like a dad and bad dancing skills. Together.
I spent hours on the internet searching how to tell if a girl likes you. Most of the sites I came up with had these following questions: Does she laugh at your bad jokes? Texts you before you text them? Does the girl touch you lightly? Has she ever twirl her hair or wink? Pokemon dick jokes are pretty low on the humorous scale. Ellenor always texts me after school even if she has detention. We sometimes punch each other lightly when the other says something really cheap. Ellenor is independent and not girly at all so there is no way she would wink or twirl her hair.
Three out of five. Not bad, not bad at all. To make it even better she never talked about dating boys or who was the most attractive. Plus the school dance is this week! The worst thing that could happen is for her to say no.
On Thursday I wore a red plaid long sleeved shirt and my best jeans. Hell, I even had an altoid during Geometry!
My stomach was not full of butterflies. It was full of snakes; writhing ready to strike my nerves causing me to falter. I never had a girlfriend due to my fear of others. It doesn’t matter what others say because I love her.
Ellenor sauntered by in lolcats leggings and a Sword Art Online shirt, “What’s up? Are you okay you look stressed?”
Oh. God. Her hand was on my shoulder. Now or never.
“Ellenor,” I took a deep breath and looked into her gray eyes, “Will you be my girlfriend and go to the dance with me?”
Ellenor's eyes grew wide and her mouth curved into a smile, "Ha! Ha! Ha! Alice, are you serious?"
I gaped. It never occured to me that Ellenor would thing of this as a joke. I was prepared from a suprise kiss to her telling me I would rot in hell. This was an option out of the hundreds I went over that I did not think of. I imeditly stared down at the dusty floor.
"Alice, are you okay?" Ellenor cocked her head and raised her eyebrow, "Did I say something?"
Squeezing my eyes together and I took a deep breath. Ellenor's face showed genuine consern and carring. She may or may not be a lesbian but she is my friend.
"Yes, I am serious. I really like you. I had a crush on you since last year," Ellenor's face morphed into shock and discomfort, "If you don't like me like that it's okay. I completely understand. But, if you do like me please consider going to the dance with me,"
That is gross and disgusting,. Why would anyone go out with a lesbo freak No wonder you had no boyfriends, miss scissor legs. Why were you friends with me? To stare at my boobs? Go hangout with your Mom if you want to eat pussy.You are a fucking retard have a great time in hell, bitch!”
I was hit with a thousand grendas. My eyes crinkled. I could feel a knife carving the word bitch on my chest. The snakes in my stomach bit and chewed enjoying my pain. I was like the Titanic trying to hold in the water but all at once I flooded and capsized. Tears poured out of eyes like a tsumami.
Ellenor, once my dear friend. Now the reason for my silenced heart.
