Break My Heart and Hope To Die

Introduction

'Be careful who you trust; the devil was an angel once.'

- Unknown

Daybreak. Orange and yellow rays of sunlight streamed through the window to my bedroom. Stress had been taking over my mind recently causing my early rousing from sleep. I considered my options as I lie upon the futon, deliberating over which would best serve my predicament; either stay where I was unable to fall back asleep or I take a walk around the building in hopes to clear my head. Deciding the walk to be my best option I rose and dressed.

I left my room and began to roam the halls, quickly becoming lost within my thoughts. Much time had passed since Ren had treated my snake bite back in Tenryu yet only a handful of weeks since I made the most idiotic decision I would ever make. Now I had been left alone, afraid and mortified at what I had done.

Where my feet would take me was not something I was concerned with and before I knew it, I was outside. Golden beams continued to beat down as grey clouds begun to roll in, obscuring the sky. My thoughts began to wonder once more as I watched the sun slowly disappeared from view.

~*~

Breakfast arrived faster than I had anticipated. I could barely eat; I was thoroughly sick and disgusted with myself. Unfortunately, my lack of appetite and furious glare down at my food did not go unnoticed.

"Are you okay Kaia? You've barley touched your food..." observed Sasuke, his voice laced with concern. Raising my gaze and forcing a smile I replied.

"Oh, yeah, I'm okay." It was then that Ren turned to me and I could tell he, too, was concerned.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Guilt overcame me as I was questioned over my health; they really shouldn't be concerned over me. However, I knew I couldn't lie my way out of it this time – I would have to give them something.

"Well... I have been feeling a little sick... But I'm fine I-" before I had even reached the end of my sentence Ren was already in doctor-mode. Concerned green eyes met my own and I felt his hand press against my forehead. It was then I realised just how close Ren had gotten. Heat rose to my cheeks.

"You feel warm and look flushed... I think you should go back to bed, I'll be there soon alright?" I nodded in reply before retreating from the room, perhaps a little too quickly.

The walk back to my room seemed far longer than it ever had before. My head swarmed with thoughts and fears and I was all too aware I would not be able to banish them. With each passing second I continued to feel worse. Thoughts turned into questions, but I had no answers. Would everything turn out okay? Would Ren be okay? What about the others? ... What about me...?

Lost within my own mind, my surroundings became distant. I was brought back to reality when I collided with someone – or something – and fell backwards. I hit the floor with a thud; great, that was going to leave a bruise...

"Princess!" I looked up after I heard the exclamation. Kotaro; it must've been him I bumped into. He bent down beside me, and once again a look of concern was thrown my way. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah... Sorry Master Kotaro..." I replied before he aided me in standing. I brushed myself down of dust, which I wasn't sure was real or imaginary, effectively straightening my clothes as I did so.

"It was my fault, I wasn't paying attention." The apologetic tone with which he spoke only caused me to feel worse. It was me who should be apologising – and not just for bumping into him.

"Neither was I, sorry." I bowed deeply in apology. I felt a hand on my shoulder and glanced up.

"It was my fault too." At his words I straightened up. Our eyes met and I found myself frozen. His eyes were a deep pool of red, and were actually quite beautiful, and it felt like he was staring into my soul; like he could see my secrets, guilt and shame. It terrified me and kept me locked to the spot.