There's condensation on my eyelids,
Fog adding to the smokescreen across my constant mood,
Guitar strings twisting round my lungs,
And you,
Lighting the fire beneath my feet.
The pit in my stomach falls,
Like the Victoria plums I knew so well from the younger years I desperately try to block out.
But alas, I can no longer run,
From the racing pulse that stops and starts,
and stops and starts,
then stops.
Then to my disapproval,
It Starts again,
Back to the enabling heart attack, code red, walls up, doors locked, run and hide,
Nightmare that I live in.
I live in this.
Come here,
Where the changes in the weather pass through,
Like stop motion,
But I did not agree to watch this movie,
I did not want to.
And I hate to be that guy,
That guy that we all groan at when the leave half way into the movie,
But the bathroom seems so much more entertaining.
I'm unfashionably late to the joke I'm the butt of,
The laughs grow louder and turn to screams.
Screams of horror in response to this monster in my chest,
Beating its way out,
Out of the cage containing all it's worth.
The sky is red,
The trees are blue,
My words are stained on the menu you read,
Choosing whether to order or abandon.
The words I'm so scared of hearing,
I am not scared of losing you as a person,
I am afraid of the concept of pain.
I can't try.
I don't see the signs in front of me,
The world is faded,
So are you,
And now,
My life is an unexplained wonder,
I can no longer enjoy.
