Fallin' For The Realest: July's Heart

July Raine Cooper

"You can either abide my rules or get out July," My mother yelled at me from the bottom of the stairs as she held a cigarette in her mouth.
"Ughhh..." I screamed, as I turned and stormed off to my bedroom, making sure to slam the door behind me. I was frustrated. I hated my life. I wish that I could have grown up in a different household but I wasn't that lucky.
Here I was, eighteen-years-old, fresh out of high school and still my mom held a tight leash around my neck. She never allowed me to go out to just be a kid, or hang with my friends and do things that eighteen-year-old kids did. Anytime I wanted to do something, she would shoot it down. Yell at me. Talk crazy to me, and I had no idea why.
Why was she so hard on me? Was something I always asked myself. I never gave her any trouble. I was always an A/B honor roll student, and I literally had perfect attendance my whole high school year. I always followed the rules and listened, but I was tired of listening. It got me nowhere and she still treated me like I was some type of stepchild.
Laying across my bed, I pulled out my phone. I needed to talk to my best friend Kara. I had to let her know that once again, I wasn't allowed to go to the party.
"Hey bitch, are you able to get out tonight?" She questioned but I could hear it in her voice that she already knew what my answer was.
"No," I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling.
"No disrespect July but why is your mom such a bitch to you. She didn't even let you go to your senior prom," She reminded me.
"I remember, and I don't know why she acts like that," I replied as I thought about how she wouldn't allow me to go to my senior prom. Something every girl my age looks forward to. Being able to dress up in a pretty dress, get your hair and nails done and enjoy one of the most memorable days of your high school life was one that I missed out on. Why? Because my mother said that I didn't need to be all dressed up like I was grown and that she didn't have that type of money to waste.
Honestly, I didn't think it was her talking like that. I felt like it was more of my stepfather who put all that stuff in her ear. He was so creepy, that I always stayed locked up in my room. I didn't trust him. He always gave me a weird vibe and the way he would look at me as if I was a fresh hot meal for a guy who just got out of jail doing a ten-year sentence, rubbed me the wrong way. To sum it all up he scared the fuck out of me. It was like he was undressing me with his eyes. He didn't really start acting weird until my high school year which is when my mom started being super mean to me. Also, I never had the guts to tell my mom about his perverted behavior because I felt like she would choose him over me, so I stayed quiet and I kept to myself. I locked myself up in my room and watched YouTube makeup tutorials or read a book on kindle to pass time. I loved to read, and that shit was so intoxicating and fulfilling that I read about a good six books or more a week.
"Did you hear me July?" Kara screamed through the phone bringing me out of my thoughts.
"No, my bad. What did you say?" I asked her.
"I said to sneak out bitch. You are about to be nineteen years old, fuck. You are grown. Why are you steady letting her ruin all the fun for you," Kara asked me, and I truly didn't know. Well, I did know why; she was my mother. The only person that I had in the world. At least that's what she told me. I didn't have a father and we didn't have other family members around. So, in fear of her disowning me or putting me out, I let her control everything. Who else was I going to run to?
"Kara, I don't know. What if she catches me and then what?"
"And she'll get over it. What's the worst that can happen," She questioned.
I didn't know the answer to that question because I never tried to go against my mother. I was too scared to, but I was so tired of just floating through my life with nothing to truly be happy about.
"Are you coming or not July," Kara asked me, and I sat there quiet for a moment as I thought about it.
"Yes. Meet me on the back street behind my house," I told her as I let out a deep sigh.
"Yayy. Ok. Meet you in an hour," She cheered excitedly, but I on the other hand was laying in my bed nervous as hell.
"Ok," I then hung up my phone. Sitting up, I ran my hands through my hair and thought about how in the hell I was going to get out of the house.
How does someone who has never snuck out, sneak out? I asked myself, as I got up and began to pace back and forth.
"Alright, I'll just go through the window," I said out loud to myself.
With only having one hour to get dressed, I went into my closet and began tossing clothes everywhere. I had no clue what I was going to wear. I had never been to a party, so I didn't really have any partying clothes.
Pulling out a pair of blue jean shorts that Kara had gotten for me one time from the mall, I slipped them on and went and stood in front of the mirror. Twisting from side to side, I observed my body as my ass cheeks peeked from underneath them. The shorts were making my ass look way bigger than it already was. That was another thing. At the age of sixteen is when I began to get ass and titties out of nowhere, which is also one of the reasons why I think my mother buckled down. It wasn't like I was trying to be hot and fast. All through high school, guys tried to shoot their shot, and I quickly shut them down except for the exception of two, who were now a thing of the past.
Brushing my hand down the side of my shorts, I went back to my closet to try to find a shirt that would be cute enough to wear. I couldn't really find anything that I felt was cute enough, so I took a white and black striped shirt and cut a slit vertically down the front. I was now able to tie it up and show off my belly button ring that Kara had talked me into getting when we were in the eleventh grade. That was one thing that I was still hiding from my mom.
I swear Kara had a way of persuading me. But I loved her. She never judged me, and we had been friends going on five years. She had moved down here my seventh-grade year. We had to partner up for a class project and had been friends ever since.
Now that I was satisfied with what I had on, I went into the restroom, cut the water on at the sink, then stuck my whole head underneath. I was natural, and most of the time, I wore my hair in its curly state because whenever I tried to flat iron it, it would only frizz right back up once I stepped outside.
With my head under the water, I ran my fingers through my hair and applied a big glob of leave-in conditioner. Grabbing the towel that was behind me, I towel dried my hair then took a wide tooth comb to gently comb through it, trying to get all of the knots and kinks out.
Fluffing my hair a little bit, I smiled because I looked bomb as hell already. I was almost ready to go but first I had to apply a little bit of makeup. I didn't have much, but I knew how to make it work with what I had. I practiced so much on myself that I could probably make myself over in my sleep.
Taking out the brown eyebrow pencil, that I had gotten from the dollar store for just a dollar, I shaded my eyebrows in to perfection. Now all I needed to do was add a little concealer around them and blend it in. Once I was done with my eyebrows, I grabbed my Maybelline Fit Me foundation and smoothly painted it on my light cameral skin. As I looked in the mirror, I felt beautiful. I felt like I deserved to live the normal teenage life and, as nervous as I was, I was ready. I think.
Now that I was done with my makeup, I walked back into my room and picked my phone up. Shit, I mumbled as I jetted to my closet, picked up my black vans, quickly placed them on my feet, then grabbed my black crossover purse and went over to the window. I had a good two minutes to get out of the house and meet Kara like we had planned.
Sticking my head out of the window, I looked around cautiously. I was scared as fuck but there was no turning around now. I knew Kara was waiting for me. Never had I ever did this before and my nerves were bad. Climbing out of the window, I was now standing on top of the roof.
Lord, I'm scared, I thought, as I eased my window closed and tiptoed over to the wooden ladder that was connected to the side of my house and began to climb down it.
Whew, I exhaled once my feet touched the freshly cut grass. Not even looking back, I took off across the yard. I was running so fast that you would have thought a pit bull was running behind me. As I ran, all I could do was hope that this was worth it in the end, because I knew if my mother found out, I was in some deep shit.
"Damn, I thought you got caught by your policing ass mom," Kara laughed once I opened the door and sat down.
"Nope," I replied as I tried to catch my breath. That whole run to the car had me tired. "So, what's the plan?" I questioned her as she sped out of my neighborhood.
"Alright, so like I told you, Lil' Rod is having a party and I thought we could go. You know all them fine ass dope boys gon' be in there. Especially Keagan light skin ass," Kara licked her lips as she talked about Keagan.
Keagan was fine, I had to admit, but he was so damn cocky that it made him annoying as fuck. Kara had a thing for the bad boys, me on the hand, I wasn't brave enough to talk to anybody that could land me in jail.
"Girl, I'll be glad when you get his ass, so you can stop fantasying about that damn man," I laughed as she twerked her ass in her seat as if it was his lap.
"Bitch, when I do, you'll be the first to know," she stuck her tongue out and continued to drive.
Kara had been crushing on Keagan for a good two years now, but no matter how much big talking she did, she never once tried to approach him. Keagan was that nigga, but in my eyes, he had way too many hoes. But who was I to stop Kara from wanting who she wanted?
"Bitch, that dick is going to come with a headache and drama," I joked with her as she pulled up to the corner store that was swamped with dope boys, bitches, and damn near the whole hood.
"Bitch, that's why I keep Advil in my purse and mace on my keychain for any bitch that wants to act up," Kara replied as she parked her car next to pump nine and got out. I was dying laughing at her, but she wasn't lying. She had mace on her keychain and I was pretty sure she had some damn Advil in her purse.
"Aye, get me something to drink," I told her, and she nodded in agreeance.
As she got out and walked up to the store, all you could hear was the niggas trying to get her attention, but she paid them no mind as she switched her wide hips and slung her 24-inch weave from side to side.
Kara was way wider and thicker than me. I wore a size seven in jeans, and I think she was like an eleven but we both had an ass. Of course, hers was bigger but that never dulled my light, and she never made me feel like I was less prettier than her.
Laughing, as I watched Kara come out of the gas station and straight diss some guy posted up on his black Impala, she continued to twist her way back to the car and began to pump her gas.
After Kara finished putting twenty dollars in her tank, she got back in the car and cranked it up, ready to take us to our destination.
"Kara, where is my drink I asked for?"
"Damn, I forgot. Some black ass nigga was all up in my face, and I was trying to get up out of there." She rolled her eyes.
"Ok, I'll go get it." I huffed, as I got out of the car, adjusted my shorts, and walked up to the entrance of the store. Just like Kara, the same men that were trying to get her attention was now trying to get mine. It was like they didn't care that they had just seen me get out of the car with the same chick that they were just trying to talk to.
Curving my lip up, my face was filled with disgust as I walked past the dudes, hoping that they got the clue that I wasn't interested. Shit, I was half ass nervous because I didn't know anything about these types of men.
"Let me get that for you mam," Some old school guy smiled at me as he opened the door for me and I went in. Once inside of the store, I tossed my curly hair behind my shoulders as I tried to decide on what type of drink I wanted. Finally deciding, I grabbed a Sprite and headed over to the register.
"Damn ma, why you so fine?" I heard some guy say in line behind me.
Ughh, I mugged as I waited for my change, so I could hurry up and get out of the store. The nerve of half of these niggas. I was convinced that half of them posted up at the corner store just to hit on the women that came in and out.
"Say! You didn't hear me," he grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him. All I could smell on his hot ass breathe was cigarettes and beer causing me to scrunch up my face. He was dark skinned, fat and had on a white V-neck shirt that was a little too snug.
"Get your hands off me," I swatted at him.
Smirking, he let me go, and I rushed towards the doors damn near running over the person who was coming in.
"Damn, shorty. Can you please watch where the fuck you going," some rude motherfucker said.
Looking up at him, my words got stuck in my throat because I was sure as hell about to curse him out. But he was too fine. Like Greek God or a male model type of fine. He was chocolate just the way I liked them. He had a beard that was groomed to perfection, his waves were ongoing in a circular pattern, and his teeth seemed to sparkle and look cocaine white next to his dark complexion.
"Damn, so you blind and can't hear. Fuck!" He maneuvered around me with a mug as I stood there star struck.
Finally, I came to my senses, "Nigga, fuck you."
"The fuck you say?" I heard him yell but I was now out the door and damn near back to the car. I wasn't taking any chances. He seemed like he would have fucked me up.
Rushing to Kara's car, I got in and looked at her. "Bitch, let's hurry up and get away from this ghetto ass gas station."
Laughing loudly, Kara put her car in drive and left the gas station as we talked about what had happened while I was inside of the store. That nigga was fine, rude and screamed 'I'll fuck you and your life up'. And I honestly wanted no parts whatsoever. I couldn't afford to be on Fox 26 news because of him.
With a deep sigh, I looked over at Kara, "That nigga was fine though."
"I saw but you know he is not my type. I like my shit with a little dab of creamer. I'm already dark as shit. I need me a light skin man to balance it out." She looked at the road with a blank expression, but I knew she was dead ass serious. Never had I ever seen Kara with a dark chocolate brother.
"I already know but good. More for me," I smirked.
"Bitch, more what is for you? You too scary to even entertain anybody because of your mother but I hear you."
"Stop trying to play me. I have talked to a few people. Well like two..." I pondered as I thought about the two guys that I had talked to.
Kara gave me the side eye then said, "Chad doesn't count. You talked to him for a good week or so and broke up with him because you said he was too boring but bitch you boring. Then there was the infamous, Shawn. Who was way out of your league and your ass couldn't keep up. That nigga was trying to fuck some, and you weren't ready." Her very blunt ass tossed out there, reminding me of both of the guys that I used to talk to.
Yes, Chad was boring but then I got with Shawn and he was trying to take shit way too fast. He was fine and all, but I had to leave that nigga alone because I wasn't ready to take it to the next level after only dating him for a month.
"Damn, Kara, just say what you want." I rolled my eyes hard as fuck at her. Kara never did bite her tongue but sometimes I couldn't handle the realness she would always deliver. A lot of times it would hurt my feelings, just a little bit. I was the calm to her crazy ass storm. Sometimes she could get me to act up but for the most part, she was the firecracker out of the two of us.
"July stop. You know I keep it a buck, at all times. Even with my bestie. I love you though," She smiled back at me, and I gave her a half-ass smile before I turned the music up. I was trying to have a good night, especially since I snuck out of the house with the chances of getting caught. The last thing I needed was Kara to continue saying rude ass shit and putting me in a bad mood.