cliodhna
thinking, that's what I have been doing lately. Just thinking about stuff that I would never know the stupid answer to.
thinking how lonely, worthless and shit my lovely life is like. growing up in a family with a mum, a dad and 2 brothers, but when your brother becomes famous and apart of the best band in the world he forgets about you.
I mean completely forgets, according to the media that Niall Horan only has -
1 mother
1 dad
1 brother
but that's all lies, Niall James Horan has a sister who is 2 years younger than him. Her name is Cliodhna Horan, 16 years old and obviously is Irish.
but why don't the world knows this?
Well that's why I'm trying to figure out, why would my own brother forgets about me and haven't give me a explanation yet. It's been 2 years. He doesn't call me but calls my parents and Greg, I mean am I really that boring?
What did I do niall!??
TELL ME!!
AM I REALLY THIS WORTHLESS !!!
IS IT BECAUSE IM FAT!!
UGLY !!
AND AN ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
also,
Me and Niall used to be the closest little ray of sunshines you would've ever meet..
I mean we always sat together in church on Sunday mornings, we would always eat breakfast, break , lunch and dinner together.
Also don't forget the snacks in between.
on Christmas Eve we would even go around the houses on our retarded street and sing Christmas's carols till it was time for Santa to come.
When I got bullied, Niall would always beat up the person even if it was a girl.
I miss him soooooooo much but at the same time really dislike him.
I mean what would you do if your brother haven't contacted you for 2 years.
See you wouldn't care.
But I care.
No one knows that Niall is my brother.
I go by the name cliodhna Gallagher in school and outside my home.
People think I'm strong but in the inside I'm not.
I'm a broken 16 year old that can't stay away from a razor. Who has suicidal thoughts and throws up after meals.
I can't eat, I try to but i can't it's hard. A voice in my head makes the decision for me, telling me if I eat , no one would want me and my body would be disgusting to look at.
Why can't I be like the Tomlinson's or the maliks, they are all gorgeous, skinny and are loved by their brothers. They probably don't even know I exist either, why is life difficult.
I need someone to love me and care for me and no matter what happens be there when I need help and save me from my bullies.
I hate getting bullied, it's makes you feel 100 times worse.
I self harm, it's helpful so times when I have a bad time the razor is there for me when I'm down. It makes me feel happy but weak.
No matter what the situation the razor is always involved.
I know how sad is my life, but it will get better soon. I hope it does I mean I can't depend the razor on everything I would feel sorry for it.
I use it too much and I'm surprised that it hasn't broken yet by the pressure i use on my skin.
My hands are getting tired by typing my depressed life. So we better get started:)
This is it, my life as Niall Horan forgotten sister.
End of chapter 1,
How was it? I know bad but hopefully it will improve!
Chapter 2 will be up soon thanks you for reading XX
