My broken pieces (on hold)

Chapter five

‎                    بِسْمِ ٱللَّهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.

I carried myself to the washroom unable to digest what just happened. How can someone be so inhuman, how can he do this to me, and what have I done to deserve this from him, I cried until my head pains but I told myself to be strong and trust that my Allah will never let me down and that whatever happens happen for the best. I remind myself the Hadith of our beloved prophet (pbuh)  "The Messenger of Allaah (salAllaahu 'alayhi wassallam) said: How wonderful is the situation of the believer, for all his affairs are good. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks for it and that is good for him; if something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him. This does not apply to anyone but the believer."  I washed my face and came out of the washroom to find my husband fast asleep and I was more than glad but then where should I sleep for tonight before I figure out what to do tomorrow, I took the pillow on the bed and went and lay down on the couch, I just couldn't sleep and when I checked my phone it was already 3 in the morning I went back to the washroom perform ablution and came out, I don't know the qibla (direction to stand in prayer) but thank God Muslim pro saved me. I prayed my Tahajjud and while I was in my last raka'ah I bow down to sujood and cried my heart out, and after praying I waited for fajr when the alarm for fajr rang I thought to wake my husband up but I was scared to even talk to him. I pileup the courage I touched his body lightly telling him that it is time for fajr prayer, he woke up so furious and dragged me to the wall and he slapped saying how dare you wake me up from my slumber? Huh how dare you touch me with your unclean hands, why don't you get it that I don't want you to come near me and what the heck you slept in this room right? after all I said last night, you should listen to me very carefully woman I don't want anything that has to do with you, and next time you wake me up whilst I am sleeping I will make sure to end your life get lost.

I silently cried and find my way out of the room, I opened the door of the balcony and said my fajr prayer, God is so cold out here. But what can I do since he doesn't want me in his room. I told myself that with every hardship comes ease and that my Allah is watching and He knew better why I marry this evil man, for there's a reason behind every that happens. I am just curious to why why exactly did he changed? From what I heard from my mom and uncle Uwais he's a very gentle man. Perhaps something bad might have happened to make him this cruel. Whatever it is I will have to find out but how and from who I thought? I think only one person can tell me about him, his past and everything which is Ruman.

It was 7 in the morning when Zaid open the door of the balcony and told me to come inside the room and get ready for breakfast and he warned me not to open up with his family members.

I went in and took a warm shower and applied a light makeover, I open the closet and took my pink dress and a white veil. I put on my dress and pinned my veil and look in the mirror and told myself that I did be okay. Zaid was also ready he wore a black shirt and brown sweatpants, he's hair is messy but he looks good and his beard was trimmed, his Calvin Klein's perfume hit my nostrils and I couldn't took my eyes off him, I muttered under my breath AstagfirullAh what was I thinking, the man that is about destroying my life.

He shouted at me saying hey lady what are you thinking of? Let's get going already. We went downstairs and took our route to the main house where Mr. Malik and the rest of the family members live, before we entered he told me that I should smile, I was like why should I smile since you have took away my only source of happiness? He said because I don't want my father to figure out anything so get that in your tiny brain okay and he took hold of my hands. I froze, like seriously what's wrong with this man this minute he's so mean and the next minute he's trying to act as a good husband in front of his family. God I can't handle this. We said our Salam, I scouted down out of respect and greeted Mr. Malik, he kissed my forehead and told me to sit with him, I timidly sat and he asked me how was my night and if I am missing home already.. I fake a smile and told him that I am good, he then asked me again whether Zaid is treating me nicely or not , I wanted to scream and tell him about his inhuman son who hits me just because I wake him up for fajr, who told me that I will never have a space in his life, and he will make my life a living hell, who treats me like an animal, who makes me sleep in the balcony, but then I put on a wide smile on my face and told him that Zaid is treating me nicely. What a white fat lie I thought to myself. He then beams at me and said we should move to the dining room and eat our breakfast. I went there and serve my husband who was busy on his phone the whole time, I served my father in law and sister in laws, and took my sit, I have no appetite but then I have to eat so that no one suspects anything. Ruman was busy blabbering telling me about her college, her friends while her twin sister Salma was quiet all the time.

Zaid's phone started to ring, he picks the call and said that he did there in 15mins, he then kissed my forehead and told me that he's sorry he has to leave for an important task and I should call him if I need anything before he comes, Ruman was awning, she said akhi don't worry I will keep her company, he said a thank you and he left, all this while I couldn't register what just happened, like why is he like that, does that mean I have to act along with him whenever we are together with his family and that he did treat me like a trash when we are alone. My father in law left as well saying that we should enjoy. Salma went into her room leaving me with Ruman. Ruman said' so are you enjoying your stay here or you miss your mom, I smiled and said obviously I am enjoying it here especially when you are in my company, Ruman was like whoa not my company but your husband's we both laughed. She told me that we should watch a movie or go out for shopping? I told her that I didn't ask Zaid for permission to go out so we rather watch a movie. She said God that is why I don't want to ever get married because you have to ask for each and everything huh, I laughed and told her that marriage is beautiful Ruman but just don't rush into it, marry someone you love, someone that will bring you closer to Allah, someone that will make you happy and be with you through thick and thin. She then cleared her throat and touched me lightly only to find a pair of eyes on me

Assalamu Alaykum warahmatullAhi wabarkatuHu I hope everyone is in good state of health and eman

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