At first you try to ignore him, deny that he's there. At every corner staring you in the eyes, trying to make you accept him. You're angry, you're in pain and he knows it, he feeds off of it. He wants you to remember, to remember it like it was yesterday. To bring every emotion you felt back, like you were reliving that day. To make you regret everything you've done in the past. To make you hate yourself even more than you do now. He wants you to be the worst you that you can be. He watches as you blame everyone in the world but him, when really he's to blame.
You try to get him to leave, you try everything you can and then you start to think. "Well if only I was there." "If only she would've gotten to the hospital sooner." You start to think that it's your fault that you deserve whatever he has in store for you. But in reality you have no one to blame but him.
Then when you sitting in class trying to focus on whatever the teacher is teaching. But because of him, you're more focused on stopping the tears from falling out of your eyes because he decided to start cutting some onions right in your face. Then when you think he's finally done he shows you the onion it turns out he was cutting the onion to resemble the loved one that you lost. The loved one that he won't let you forget. The loved that you want back, more than anything else in the world. I guess it wasn't the onion because you're still catching tears.
He manages to make you, someone who is always happy always smiling, into someone who fakes being happy and fakes their smiles. After dealing with him for months now you learn that it's time to accept him. To make him apart of you.
Grief isn't a stranger anymore he's a new found friend, here to remind everyday that it's OK remember.
