I live together with another person. This person continuously consumes the little light I have left. It tells me the unbearable truths. Truths which are further confirmed through the living perspectives I share this world with.
"Why are you so cold?"
"Why are you so quiet?"
"Sadness is a choice."
I know the character that I have built throughout the years serves me at a disadvantage. People are lead to believe that my stares are of an unemotional being. People believe that because of my shy and attentive character, I hold an intellectual insight. The real truth is, is that I am a failure. The constant pressure of other's beliefs brings my mind into a pit of darkness. The truth is, is that during a period of my life I did believe in certain areas of my being; areas such as excelling in my education, creativity and the ability of creating stories.
As I grew, my other self did as well. Though, I learned that different forms of distractions existed. They acted as a relief system. This affected my performance in school (it still continues to do so) and my relationships with friends. With what I had thought to be happiness, my false reality destructed my life even more.
My fantasies still appear to serve the false happiness that I need. Its addictive ability consumes me. Death appears to be the only savior. When will that be?
