The Diary Of The Weak: My Journal

7:33-9:34 #8

Today was pretty good except the fact that I saw my ex. I felt the butterflies around him again and then I realized that I wasn't with him. He was going for another girl and I would never get a chance.

I met him when I was little, and thought he was absolutely horrid. He was sloppy, disgusting, a jerk, and like all the other boys. Getting older I bonded with him and began to fall for him. He came out and told me he liked me which made me extremely happy. We started a relationship that lasted for a year and ended sadly. I was hurt, but soon felt better. We didn't talk for a long time, and he finally began hanging out with me again. This time I fell hard and felt sick to my stomach seeing him dating other girls. He finally asked me out and of course I said yes as I was in love with him. We dated for a while and everything was great until he got sick of me and kicked me to the curb. I was broken and felt worthless; unwanted. I cried myself to sleep many nights and avoided him the best I could. I finally got over him and now I see him going for another girl. It hurts like hell. But I have to try my best  to stay strong and not worry.

My homeroom teacher is the best one yet and I adore her. My science teacher makes me feel more comfortable because she says that we cannot be invisible and we should talk to her about anything. My math teacher hates me and I don't like her much either.

This is something that I want to share if you have a self-harm problem or you want to support. This doesn't have to be with One Direction, it could be with anyone that is an inspiration to you or celebrity that you really like.

STOP CUTTING-Project.

These days, many teens are self-harming because of bullying,home problems cyber bullying, etc. This is definitely not a good thing and we need to stop it. Take a marker and point out the place where you usually cut. Most will say wrist or arm, but everyone is different. A heart will be placed here and letters will be in the middle of the heart you made. There will be a number standing for a person in One Direction-or any celebrity- that means something to you. Mine for example is Niall. Let's say Niall is 1. So I would put 1 at the beginning of my heart. Then, take the first letter of the name of someone you care about such as your mum. I put the name of a girl that is a huge inspiration to me so I put a J. Now, in the middle of my heart it should be a 1J.

1. Niall 2. Harry 3. Louis 4. Liam 5. Zayn

Those are the One Direction members that you can choose from if you would like to use them. If not, you must pick a number between 1 and 5 to represent someone. Now, what is the purpose of this you may ask. The purpose is, is that if you self-harm you would be hurting those two people you put in the middle of your heart. So, if I were to self-harm, I would be hurting Niall and Julianna. And I don't want that for them. And you don't have to self-harm to join in, you can join the project to support.

Also, today when I got home and texted one of my best friends, she reminded me something that means a lot. One night when I was extremely depressed && and self-harming, she told me something that I will never forget.

"Think like this,End is not the end, in fact E.N.D is "Effort Never Dies" & if you get NO in answer, then remember NO is "Next Opportunity" Always be positive."

That night she taught me to always be positive and to stay strong. I will never forget her because of that and it makes me tear up whenever I think about it. Thank you Gina, for saving my life.

And even if I don't know your name, you are such a great friend to talk too. And yes, I do consider you a friend. l0veisthem0vement, you are amazing. You too I consider an inspiration, from where I can relate to you and where you actually care about my feelings. Thank you so much you've helped me through a lot.

Nobody will probably sen me questions, but I am doing a Q&A. Ask me any question whether it be personal, weird, crazy, rude, romantic, any question. I've been on here for over 3 hours. I better go get some sleep for tomorrow. Love you guys. Night. xx