Elkie coughed, her chest clenching tightly in her chest, butterflies dancing in her stomach at what Yanan just said to her. She couldn't help the smile that crept on her face, a little different from the goofy smiles and wide grins she always showed to him. "Aye, that's what I'm talking about!" She said loudly before filling her mouth with a dumpling. Yanan shook his head smiling at her.
What's the strategy not to get caught when you're insanely in love with your best friend? Make everything seem like a joke. With everything Elkie said, she made sure they all seemed somewhat like a joke especially when she couldn't help herself from voicing out her feelings for him sometimes. "What about me? How am I special to you?" Yanan asked.
Again, she coughed, cheeks getting hot involuntarily. She wanted to joke about her feelings again, tell him he has no idea how special, but she was kind of tired. The day had been long. She smiled and stared at the food on the table. "You've moved from China to Korea, from Korea to Chinaㅡbut you have best friends and you managed to keep them all these years. You know, I've moved a lot before myself. Hong Kong. Korea. China. I've never had friends like yours, Yanan. Maybe that's what makes you special. You're the only friend I have that feels likeㅡa lifetime friend, you know."
Yanan smiled and she wished he wasn't so beautiful, maybe that would have helped her feelings from growing. "Whoa, Elkie, you're turning into a marshmallow. I thought you'd respond with something witty."
She shook her head glaring at him. "Don't you dare tease me about this again!"
He laughed and she let herself be happy with the sound of it yet again. After dinner, Yanan walked her to her apartment. She tossed her bag across the room and jumped on her bed, grabbing a pillow and hugging it in her arms. "You're the one who's always here for me. My go-to."
The next thing she knew, she was biting the pillow real hard and squirming on her bed like a fish fresh out of water. And then she slapped her own cheek, "Elkie, gee, get back to your senses. You can't let this go further." She whispered to herself, catching her breathㅡbecause oftentimes when she thinks about him, he takes her breath away.
•
Yanan X Kele Kakaotalk Chatroom
YAN: Hey
KEL: Wassup
YAN: nothing. was just thinking
YAN: would you get mad if i said i have another best friend? and i mean not just like that. A REAL BEST FRIEND. LIKE. YOU AND I. OR SOMETHING MORE.
KEL: first calm yo ass
KEL: i wouldn't get mad. just a bit sad. i wish we didn't drift apart like that. but...
KEL: why do you think we did?
YAN: Um...
...
YAN: bc i had the audacity to fall for you? XD
KEL: YANAN!
YAN: HAHAHAHAH
YAN: OK
YAN: maybe it's the distance. i mean sure, i care about you. i always will. but... not living our lives together even though we keep in touch...
YAN: I think it causes us to drift apart. I think distance just does that to people. But it doesn't mean we stop caring.
YAN: Like, you know, no matter what happens, no matter how much time passes by... you'll always have a place here.
KEL: WHERE XD
KEL: JK. I love you nerd. WE ARE SUCH MARSHMALLOWS :( But even if you replace me as your best friend ㅠㅠ You'll always be one for me.
YAN: dumbass i'm not replacing you!
YAN: It's just... different.
KEL: ARE WE TALKING ABOUT MISS ELKIE???? 👀
YAN: Yeah.
KEL: KJSKSJSKAJSJSKD I KNOW HOW IT IS DIFFERENT YOU LIKE THIS GIRL
YAN: pleeeeease. not that again
YAN: anyway see you next month
KEL: WHAAAAAAAT DID U BOOK A TICKET ALREADY??????
KEL: UR COMING???? 🙊🙊🙊
YAN: OBVIOUSLY
KEL: YEEEEESSSSS SHOW ME YOUR GLORIOUS BLOND HAIR
Yanan smiled, shaking his head as he put his phone down. Why did he say it's different? Maybe becauseㅡwith Kele, it felt more like he was there for her more than she was there for him because he had to hide his feelings for her. But with Elkie, over the years of knowing her, she took care of him, she was always there for him. She cheered him up during the times he was so down because of heartbreak, during the times he felt insecure because he realized how much bigger the world in college was. She was there for late night study sessions, there to throw any kind of party for his birthdays, there to support him on every game when he decided to join the basketball team. Always there for him, and yet he always felt like he wasn't there for her enough.
That's why it's different.
___________
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