All over again

Chapter 1

The traffic in the city cannot get any worse right now. I've been in the same spot for possibly half an hour and I don't think I'll be moving forward any time soon.

I've got a 10 minute drive to Jefferson where I have to put some things in order before I take my vacation days. But it looks like I won't be getting there very soon.

I've saved my vacation days wisely, I have around three months of vacation and I always thought id use then to go somewhere amazing like Rome or India, not going back to the dreadful place I once called my home. I have to catch a 5-6 hour flight back to my hometown in Tennessee.

I should've told them when I was coming, they're probably wondering when I'll arrive. I should told them they didn't have to worry about fixing the house up. I wasn't going to stay there anyway. I couldn't face them the 24 hours of the day, I know I won't be able to handle seeing them from the moment I woke up until I went to sleep.

I thought it would be to get my own space. I called up an old friend who happened to be a realtor. He suggested I rented a little house for 3 months, that was comfortable and in a good location, it was perfect because it wasn't to close to my parents home it is right on the edge of town.

As the cars in front of me start moving, I hear a buzz coming from my phone.

"Hello" I say realizing I didn't even look at the caller id.

"Haley? Is that you?" I hear my mother ask worriedly.

"Yeah. It's me" I say. Just listening to her voice makes me nervous and uncomfortable, imagine how I would feel stating under the same roof as them again.

"Your father and I were just wondering, you didn't say when you were coming home so we fixed up your old room. Got new sheets and replaced some things in your restroom. You can come in whenever you like."she says nervously. At least I'm not the only one nervous.

"That wasn't necessary mom, I'll be staying in a small house I rented. But thanks, I'll be there maybe by dinner time as soon as I land I'll call you and let you know. Ok?" I say sighing and looking at the time. if I don't get out if here soon, I'm gonna miss my flight.

"Today? You're coming today?" She asks surprised.

" Yes mom. I'll drop of my stuff at the house I rented then I'll make my way over there"

"Are you sure, Haley. You can always stay here." She asks hopefully.

"I'd think it be better for all of us if I stay somewhere else. At least until we have everything in order."

"Alright sweetie, I'll see you when you get back"

"Bye mom" I say and hung up the phone.

God, I bet she's getting everything ready for dinner and making a big deal about I should've called her over these past years. It wasn't her fault, I just wanted to start with a clean slate.

I never wanted to isolate my family, that was never my intention. I just wanted to go to New York and start my life with ought having my past get in the way of my future.

I was suppose to call to check in on them and se how things were doing. But the first few months in New York were so hard for me, being there was so much different. I had a hard time adjusting, I wasn't comfortable until weeks later. I always found a reasons to put things off until later. It was always something else.

''I'll call next week , I'll call on Christmas Day, or I'll call on Dad's birthday instead'' but I never did.

By the time I knew it, 3 years had already passed and I never reached out to them, not once, so I figured after all the time that had passed they probably didn't want to hear from me either.

Now looking back on that decision. I don't see if I was just scared of reaching out to them and that I might want to come back or because I actually believed that they didn't want to hear from me either.

I drive into the airport and as I walk through the doors I feel the tension. The one you feel at every airport.

People are sitting in the waiting area, magazine in hand, either that or half asleep. The sight of all types of suitcases, from the plain old ones to the new flashy ones. You can hear the sound of heels as people run to and from one place, all in hurry to catch their flight.

The typical crying farewell hug and the the happy welcome home hug. People pass each other all stuck in their own thoughts, heading all to different places of the world.

An airport for most people is a pit-stop to get to where they want to go, maybe on vacation or a visit some old relatives, something they look forward to. But for me it means that I'm one stop away from going back to place I ran away from.