a.m // phan

thirty eight

phil's pov

i haven't seen dan in a week.

it's been hard to be around him ever since i told him about my dad and the abuse. mom says he'll come around and that he just needs some time.

i remember telling him how my dad works at a church and is very close to god, but he still acts like a monster. it's weird to think about. hurts my brain.

somehow, i feel like dan is hiding from me. i haven't left my house at all this week, not even for school. dan's been texting me but i ignore him. maybe i'm the one hiding from him.

i tell myself i need to text him, but i never do. i need to see him.

there isn't a way i can see him though, my dad cut my tires so i can't drive. luckily, he hasn't been showing signs of tension lately. in fact recently he's been spending time at the church more often, staying there over night and most of the time he didn't come home. it's honestly kinda nice.

i'm 18. my birthday was in the last week. my mom told me chris, pj, and louise came to the house but i asked her to have them leave. it was bratty, but i didn't want to have a lot of people to celebrate with. i just wanted dan.

he didn't come. i wanted to spend my birthday with dan, and just dan alone but i couldn't. it sucked but i don't blame him for staying away.

his birthday is coming up though. our birthdays are funnily close to one another. it's super dumb but i find it kinda cute.

fuckk, i don't know. i need to see dan.

my phone vibrated, and of course it was the chocolate haired boy. this time i responded.