The chills up my spine have the equivent speed to my falling tears at the sound of your name. I was doing everything to hold on to you, not knowing that would be the reason to you being gone. I sit beside you, no longer having permission to reach for your hand, or stare at you longer than one should. I lost you. And yet the physical distance between us remains the same; shoulder to shoulder. My eyes being punished obligated to stare straight, fighting to face you. My lifeless hand craving to intertwine with yours rests motionless on my side, something that has never occurred with you in my presence. I love you, and with all the uncertainly in this world, and craziness within my own skull, I have never been so sure. You were able to help me go from an agonizing crawl with purple bruised knees to a power walk out of that empty dark void with a smile across my face, forgetting about how long I was trapped and remembering how to smile. In every moment I was content you were in my rear view mirror.Always making sure I was alright, you being the reason I always was. The fact that you were capable of smiling without me by your side, scared me. Because I was here, and you were there and while I would only wait for you to come back , you would take your time thinking I was capable to fly away from your arms not knowing that it was my safe haven. And in this moment your time away from me seems endless and maybe this time it is. I just know that I am as sure bout loving you as I am about the sun rising from east to west. You're built out of flaws; mesmerizing flaws that constantly take my breath away. It's such a shame to fall in love when you're young, categorized under puppy love, but containing so much more.
