Veil of Tears

Waking Nightmare

  Can I just close mine eyes forever?
In the land of fading memories, and of lost pains?
Instead of waking into loss and suffering, can I just sleep in ignorance and bliss?
The one I lived for, gone.

Just a past memory, a new fresh pain.
I'm tired of the red I see coming from the blades crisscrossing my wrists,
I tire of the sympathy, the pity, the depression,the insidious thoughts that plague me where ever I go.
I want a death, not the one whom caused me pain, but mine own.
But, alas, twill not happen for too many people care for my sarcastic remarks and bitter personality.

I am the last of my grandparents legacy to carry their name.
I am alone, and no one can seem to accept my view's in my father's family.
They avidly despise gays, so they avidly despise me.
They are Christian's, and I believe in the Great Tree Yggdrasil.

I am a black sheep surrounded by a flock of white.
I am mathematically challenged, and Derek is a math genius living in Japan.
I play with ball jointed dolls, and Morgan runs around playing basketball.
I sing of soft morbid, macabre songs, and Sam does Drama.

I scar my skin the same way they scar my emotions.
My skin is proof of their torture.
Some cuts fresh, others scabbed and infected.
Can I just run away from this pain?

I want to escape to a place of pure joy,
where my past cannot touch me.
But, alas I cannae do such a thing to mine mother,
if I could I would certainly do so to my sire.

Can I just close mine eyes forever?
In the land of fading memories, and of lost pains?
Instead of waking into loss and suffering, can I just sleep in ignorance and bliss?
The one I lived for, gone. Just a past memory, a new fresh pain.