Trigger warning! There is homophobic slurs and abuse, so stay prepared.
I cry into my hands, unable to keep the pressure inside me anymore. I don't know how to tell my extremely homophobic mother I think I'm gay, but I have to. I just have to.
So now, I just cry in my room. I know I have to tell her today, so I get off of my bed before I lose the courage again. I slowly make my way downstairs, terrified how this will play out. I peer into the living room to see my obese mother watching Derry News. When she notices my presence, I feel cold shivers creep up my spine.
"Eddie Bear, are you crying? Are you hurt? Are you having trouble breathing?" She panics. I sit down in front of her and shake my head.
"No, I'm fine, mom. I need to tell you something," I say. There's no turning back now.
"Yes?" She looks at me with intent eyes, like she thinks I'm a safe haven for maggots or AIDS. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes.
"Eddie Bear, what is it?" I look at my mother with tears in my eyes. I love her, but I hate her. I hate everything she does and has done; lying to me about my health, filling me full of bullshit medication, her lies about my father's death. How she doesnt accept the real me.
"Momma, do you love me?" She seems confused, as if it wasn't obvious that she does.
"Yes, Eddie Bear! Why wouldn't I love you?" I sigh, and fold my hands into my lap.
"No matter what? You'll love me no matter what?" She sighs impatiently, like I'm wasting her worthless time.
"Of course! I promise I'll always love you, no matter what, my Eddie Bear!" The tears in my eyes pool down to my face; thankfully, the only light in the room is the dim glow from the small TV, keeping them hidden. Why do I have to feel this way with her? Why can't she just accept me?
"Mom, I know this is the last thing you want to hear," my voice cracks. "But, I think I like- I think I like boys, mom." She sits, completely still, and slaps my face so hard, I fall off of the footrest and onto the dirty floor.
Germs. Germs, Eddie, germs, they will kill you, Eddie!
She drags me up by my hair, and I yell out in pain, mostly emotional. She drags me towards the garage door.
"NO SON OF MINE WILL EVER BE A FAGGOT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?" I sob as the pressure in my heart increases more than ever. I let out a loud sob, unable to control it like I usually do.
"Mom, please," I cry out. She drags me into the car and zooms to an unknown destination. We pull up into the familiar hospital parking lot, and she drags me out.
I hear a scream. I look behind me and see a woman holding limply onto a boy, both of them soaked in blood. He's gorgeous.His wrists are cut badly and all I can do is pray to God he survives so I can meet him.
Doctors scoop me up the second I am entered in the hospital. I fight back, all of my energy, but they are too strong for my petite body. I grunt and thrust, but I'm really trapped in my mind.
"He's sick! Sick, I tell you," my mother screams at the innocent doctors. I am wheeled off deeper into the hospital.
"What's wrong with him, Mrs. Kaspbrak?" A doctor asks, tying restraints on my wrists.
"He's a fag," she wails. Ouch.
"Well, ma'am, we can't do anything about his sexuality." You better fucking get that right. I scream as they tie the restraints even tighter. I hear doctors yelling orders behind me, so I turn my head to see the boy in the parking lot. His eyes lock with mine, and everything stops for just a second.
Then that moment ends as fast as it came.
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Fanfic"His wrists are cut badly and all I can do is pray to God he survives so I can meet him." Triggering content! -Suicidal thoughts/attempts -Language (fuck yeah) -Homophobic slurs -Alcohol and drugs -Violence -Teen partying -A tiny bit of smut but no...