Arbitrary

Chapter 1

Our story starts in the house in a tiny village in Thailand, practically isolated from all other humanity. A little boy lived inside with his parents and two older sisters.

The boy was named Zinny, which was quite a strange name indeed. There was no reason for him to dislike it though, because he loved being special, like the independent child he is.

His sisters were twins, so that meant they did everything together. They brushed their teeth together, they went to sleep together, they ate together, everything. Like, the full package.

Unfortunately for the witting young Zinny, that meant Cadee and Cadoo would beat him up together. They would sabotage his toenail collection together. They would stick apple juice mixed with couch cushion cotton into his shoes together.

But that was because they were jealous. They didn't know what Zinny had. Nobody did. Not even Zinny.

...

Now you might be thinking about that random part at the beginning. Good. Because we will travel between Thailand and a certain part of Canada throughout this story based upon randomness.

There was another kid who went to Skrrt Elementary, the most popular kid in the school. Zeke was the kind of guy who had a group of people drinking apple juice around him.

The kind of guy who people would give him two dollars and fifteen cents to burp into a jar. Like, people would chew his gum for him. Yeah, it's crazy.

One of his followers, a kid named Jake, was following him just so he could reach a higher status in the school. He had a sad dream, since his name was Jake.

He wanted to work at State Farm.

Now there were plenty of other jobs available, but he picked working at State Farm. Not even Nationwide. He could be a lawyer. Damn.

They would laugh when Zeke said a terrible joke, they would lick his armpits when he asked for them to, and when they went to church, they would remember when he sneezed, hoping God would bless him.

One day, Zeke came to school wearing tissue boxes on his feet, and people would swoon over his newly thought of "kicks". The trend went on for about a month after they realized their shoes were very susceptible to water. But honestly, they looked pretty sick.

Zeke's parents didn't really care about him. They were always working. His only sibling, his 21 year old brother, Jaiden, was in college, never to come home in a very long time. So most of the time, he would be playing Fortday on his Ybox.

Along with playing video games all the time, he would practice the ways of the Pogostick Jutsu, bouncing and bouncing higher than ever before. But that did not matter, since all he wanted to do was squish a rabbit's pinky toe for the remainder of his life. He did not care about anything else. But he couldn't let anyone know his absurd wish. It was a secret.

When he went to school the next day, he had lost his mind. All he could think about was the feeling of a rabbit's pinky toe between his index finger and his thumb. He pressed the fingers together until they were white. OuCh.

...

Now, back to the young Zinny. Today would be the day he would prove he was a man, by turning into the age of thirteen years old. He would undergo a fight between him and an adult grizzly bear. Why? To show he could handle stress calmly. DaYuM.

He woke up in a bed of cotton, just like literally everything else. The pillows were made of cotton, the couch, it's cushions, the seats on the chairs, everything. The frame and the actual bed was made of wood, and like I said before, everything else was made of wood. Quite comfortable, actually.

He cleaned his teeth with a brown toothbrush made of a branches bristles and water. Not very effective; since he already had a cavity smackdab in the middle of his right bottom molar.

He wore his special leather jacket for the event, walking out with his expensive clothing. He looked around, spying his father in the middle of a huge crowd cheering him on. He looked so brave he could slay a dragon, but his heart was pumping like he was of the final 5 players in Fortday, his knees were wobbling like a chunk of lemon jello, and his breath was more shallow than a stream.

He walked onto through the crowd in the center of the village onto a platform, and the grizzly bear was barely being held by a couple of ropes. He stood up, his heart almost audible.

Suddenly, the ropes were torn apart, and the bear leaped at him with it's arms out. Zinny dodged the attack and grabbed it from behind. The bear took another shot at his back, but Zinny quickly blocked with his right arm.

Zinny tried to lift the bear, but with no avail. He aimed for the bear's left leg, and pulled. The mighty creature roared with pain as it slammed onto the hard floor of the platform.

Zinny leaped into the air with his elbow sticking out, and thrust it into the the bear's stomach, but it opened it's jaw and chomped his waist, and Zinny screamed in agony.

The bear yodeled in a strange language and then licked it's left toe twice--in a row. Zinny replied by taking off his shirt then putting it back on--backwards. The bear cowered in disgust as it realized it had lost the Battle of Random.

Zinny oinked rapidly while snapping with his left hand and making a fist with his right, and jumped around the ring with one foot. That's rAnDoM.

The bear sat down, admitting defeat, and the crowd went silent.

Now it was the final stage of the battle. This decided everything. Zinny's heart skipped a beat as he realized what he had to do.

He pulled out his ring finger, and slowly walked towards the bear.