Orphan (A Jack Gilinsky Fanfic)

1. Change

KATHRYN'S POV

I park in our usual spot in front of the park's public bathrooms. The sun is slowly rising and the sky a vibrant shade of red orange, the clouds pink and plump. I turn my head to glance at Jamie sleeping soundlessly in the cramped passenger seat, his knees to his chest and drool dripping out the corner of his mouth.

I lick my lips and shake his shoulder lightly, leaning closer to him enough to whisk away the hair covering his eyes. "Wake up, J. We have to get ready for school," I whisper loudly enough to wake him.

He slowly leans his head off the condensed window and cracks open his eyes, rubbing the sleepiness out of them with tiny fists. A silent yawn escapes his lips as he attempts to stretch out his legs in the small space.

It's been 6 months and every morning I still drown in guilt having to wake him up so early.

Jamie turns his head to me and I give him a tight lipped smile, unbuckling my seatbelt. I click a button to unlock the car doors and we both step out of our seats into the cool morning air, stretching out our arms and back and groaning in relief.

While a blue jay chirps happily in the distance, I click open the trunk and search for our morning supplies. Handing him his washcloth and toothbrush, I wrap my arm around his shoulder and guide his tiny body towards the bathrooms. I pause at the small space that separates the male and female bathrooms. I glance down at him, "I'll meet you here when you're done." He nods his head groggily and wobbles into the dark public restroom, still only half awake.

I watch him disappear around the corner before turning around and walking into the familiar female bathroom. It's completely empty. No one is up this early. I turn on the rusty faucet and begin my morning routine, brushing my teeth with the same toothbrush I've used for 3 months and splashing my face with freezing water.

I glance at the napkin dispenser on the wall and silently cheer that it's Monday. The custodians only come during the weekends to refill the soap and napkin supplies, so by Wednesday's I'm only left to use hand sanitizer and the wind to dry my hands and face. I snatch a few napkins off the wall to blot my face dry and another few to keep in storage. I look at myself through the filthy mirror and move a strand of loose hair behind my ear. I sigh as I note the giant bags dangling under my eyes and my paled, sunken skin.

I rummage around in my sweatpants pockets until I pull out a light, nearly empty mascara tube. I apply the mascara stingily, hoping to make it last the rest of the school year. I change into yoga pants, careful not to let them touch the dirt-ridden concrete floor as to avoid paying for another load of laundry for as long as possible, and toss on a tight long sleeve shirt. I let my hair out of a messy bun and brush through the strands with my fingers. I glance at the mirror one last time, sighing before gathering my items and reemerging into the parking lot.

I see Jamie waiting for me on the usual bench outside, his back facing me. He's looking out towards the lake, watching the still green water. Walking quietly behind him, I wrap my arms around his shoulders. "Ready for school?" I murmur.

He turns halfway around and says croakily, "Yeah." I kiss him on the cheek before releasing his body and walking back towards the car, the only disruption in the otherwise empty parking lot. It looks resolutely lonely as it sits there motionless and silent.

We buckle our seatbelts and embark on our 45 minute journey to school. The engine roars grumpily to life as Jamie leans his head back against the window, watching the trees as they turn into a blur of green. The sun rises quickly, illuminating the sky and forming it a kind shade of baby blue.

I pull to the drop off location of Jamie's elementary school and slowly press the brakes. "Have a nice day at school, J. I'll pick you up at the usual time."