It's been a Year

Colson IIII

When both my packs of cigarettes are finished I go to the train store and buy a few cigars, cause that's all they had left. I decide to spare it for the last stage of my trip, before I arrive. My whole trip consisted basically of waiting and smoking. Since my second train was delayed I had to rebook at the last stop. I got the cheapest ticket, because I had spent nearly all of the travel money my mom gave me on cigarettes and cigars too. Where is my life leading to? I plug in my earphones and listen to my playlist on Spotify, but my own music starts to annoy me. Although my mom forbid it, I switch on my data and look for a different playlist. I scroll through my followers and I see that Dylana is still following me. Curiously I check out her account. She has a rap playlist too and I click on it. I close my eyes and listen to the songs and figure that I really like them. Listening to that playlist I survive the whole trip home. When my stop is announced, I pack my things together and get ready to get out of the train. After getting out I immediately spot my dad. He's waving at me with a wide smile on his face. I feel so bad, that my mom dumped me on him, while he was probably enjoying his time alone with Kate, my stepmom and their one-year old daughter Anne. My feelings overwhelm me that when I hug my dad, I start to sob like a child and can't stop saying 'I'm sorry'. I feel like a baby, but my dad's tight embrace makes me feel better instantly. "Colson, Colson. Look at me. You don't have to be sorry. It's ok. You're home now."

I permanently live with my dad and I only go to my mom on Wednesdays for dinner and every second weekend, but I prefer being with him, even if more of his attention goes to Anne. So when I walk in our double-story apartment it really does feel like home. Anne is crawling towards me and I pick her up. She immediately grabs my blonde strands of hair hanging in my face and tugs at them. "Anne, what did mommy say? No tugging at Colson's hair!" Anne smiles and stares at me. She lets my hair go and says "Cowson". I widen my mouth and so does Kate. "Did you just say my name, princess? Did you just say my name?" Anne claps her hands and repeats my name over and over. Kate, my dad and I are just beaming at eachother and my mood instantly rises to a peak that I only remembered from times with Dylana. I put Anne down and say sorry to Kate. "It's okay, really. We were missing you over here, especially our little princess did, hey Anne, didn't we miss your big brother?" All Anne says is 'Cowson', but it really makes me happy. Here it feels as if I am welcome and wanted.

At the dinner table I tell Kate and my dad about the holidays. "Colson, we have to talk about the things that happened in Italy, the alcohol and about you sleeping at other girls' houses. But I don't think, that sending you home was the right thing to do, but I kind of am glad they did, because now you're here, with us." My dad really means what he says. I give him a thanking nod. "I am a virgin, just to clarify that." Kate and my dad roll their eyes at each other. "Thanks for sharing, buddy. We don't really care about your sex-life, as long as we don't have any Italian or whatsoever girls pregnant with your child, or at least not at this age." I feel my cheeks are turning red and so does Kate, because she starts giggling. Kate has always been like a mother for me. It might be mean for my mother, but Kate is extremely chilled with curfews and girls, similar like my dad and she likes me. With my stepdad, Ryder, I don't get that feeling. "And about the alcohol. You're nearly 18, and that might be your legal drinking age, but do screw it down. Trust me, especially when the school begins, you'll just regret it." I nod. If I'll be able to keep to that is another question, but I'll try.

After dinner I still play with Anne for a while. She's very tired and while I'm reading her a book, she just nods off in my arms. Still holding her, I walk to the kitchen when I hear my dad and Kate talking. I make sure they can't see me and listen. "I know, it's just since his breakup with Dylana." I take a step back and make and enter the kitchen, pretending I didn't hear their conversation. I didn't want to hear the rest of it anyway. Thankful that Anne is asleep, Kate goes to put her in her Cot and now it's just me and my dad. "Colson, how about a trip to town tomorrow? We could do some shopping if you want to." Thankfully I nod. "I'm tired, I'll go to bed. Good night dad."