BillDip: 10 Things I Hate About You AU

Chapter 1

"Grunkle Stan, I need to talk to you about something." Dipper confronted his guardian of 5 years, now that Mabel had left the room.

"Sure kid, what do you need?"

"Mabel is hanging around this gross kid Gideon; he's trying to date her. He's awful, and I was hoping you'd talk to her and get her to stop."

"Ugh, I've seen that kid around, he's no good."

It had now been 5 years since the twins had been taken out of their parents custody and charged to their great-uncle Stan. He was definitely happy to take the kids in, seeing how he had already spent quite a bit of time with them and loved them both indefinitely, but keeping up with two 17-year-olds, with all the baggage that came from them losing their parents, on top of Dipper struggling with his sexual orientation, and Mabel falling in love with everyone that breathed, he feared that he wasn't giving them the emotional support that they needed, but he did honestly try.

Later on, they were all eating dinner together, which Grunkle Stan always insisted on, no matter the circumstance.

"Mabel, I've already said no dating, and I'm saying it again."

Mabel scoffed in offense, "Where is that even coming from?"

"You've been hanging around this Gideon kid, and I don't like it."

"Oh come on! He's not that bad! He's actually really sweet." 

"Until he gets in your pants.." Dipper murmured as he stuffed a bite of food into his mouth.

"What?! Dipper, don't be gross! He just wants to be my boyfriend."

"Alright, new rule!" Stan was always trying to set rules, but they usually faded over time, only to be used to win an argument every now and then, but he was very passionate about protecting his niece and nephew. The twins knew that this rule would probably be different.

"No dating until you're out of school, either of you." Dipper snorted in response, finding the irony in the rule being specified for him too.

"What?! Grunkle Stan! That's not fair!"

"What's not fair is you two stressing me out with all of your teenager-y stuff," Grunkle Stan replied with a sigh.

"Hey, I don't stress you out," Dipper defended.

"Yes you do. The both of you do."

"Wait, how did you even know I was spending time with Gideon..?" Mabel was intentionally discreet about spending time with Gideon. Stan couldn't have known unless...

"Dipper did you tell on me?" she scoffed incredulously. There's no way he would tattle on her; he's a big kid now, isn't he?

"I reported a situation you are in that has me worried about your well being. Gideon is a creep, he'll stop at nothing to get whatever he wants."

"You tattled on me! What are you 5?!"

As the two bickered, Stan thought over his rule that he definitely wasn't going to forget this time, but there was something about it that seemed off. The kids would graduate in a few months and still be vulnerable kids.

"Actually," he interrupted loving his new idea. It was the perfect solution to both of the kids' problems, "no dating until Dipper has a boyfriend."

"What? Nononono, Grunkle Stan! I will die a hag, a miserable, lonely spinster. It's over for me..." She slid out of her seat to go mope on the floor, just laying like a corpse, which is what she usually did when she was in utter despair.

"Oh get up, Dipper won't be single forever, just long enough to teach you patience when it comes to relationships. Yeah, I like this rule, definitely not going to forget this one. Oh and Dipper, you're on dishes tonight." With that, Stan cleared his plate, seeing as he was done eating and walked up to his room for a much needed nap.

Dipper groaned at the assigned task, but cleared his dishes and started to wash them.

"Dipper why do you hate me?.." Mabel whined after a long period of silence.

"I don't hate you, I worry about you."

"UGh.." was all she said before slinking up to her room to plan her life as a spinster.

Dipper didn't voice it, but he honestly hated the rule a bit himself. He knew that his sister was bound to desperately play match-maker in an attempt to get her romance. He honestly didn't care too much about finding a boyfriend and hated that everyone insisted that finding a partner was the secret to happiness. Besides he's already tried at the finding a boyfriend thing and that was a mistake he wasn't eager to repeat.

 He didn't expect to find romance in his life ever, and he didn't even need to. What was Stan's point in specifying that anyways?

I've been thinking about this fic for two years now, and I'm excited that I'm finally writing it.