Connections | ✔️

Twenty

Valerie P.O.V

Being with Carter last night was amazing. I didn't really plan on it, but he made me feel comfortable and safe, and not to mention incredibly turned on, that I wanted to go there. He never pushed me into doing anything when we were together, and was perhaps even slightly hesitant. Once I gave him permission, he treated my body so expertly I had never felt that way before. If I were a different girl, we for sure would have slept together that first night I saw him. Holding back from the sizzling chemistry we had when we first met and building an emotional connection first instead, had really paid off when we got physical.

Unfortunately, Carter had to leave after breakfast to meet with some important people. He wanted to come out with a line of merch, with 15% of the profits going to a different charity organisation of his choosing every four months, as there were so many important causes out there he couldn't possibly pick just one. I had gained so much respect for him after hearing about his plans.

As I arrived home, I decided I would try to do a quick at-home workout of squats, lunges, pushups and situps on my yoga mat. The hike yesterday really got me in the mood of being active- my body felt so fresh and relaxed afterwards. I took a shower after my little sesh and opted to dress up extra cute again so I could also take a few more pictures to upload on Instagram. Practising some self-love and taking care of yourself is so very important. My self-esteem was at an all-time high as well, I barely felt any self-consciousness being exposed in front of Carter last night. It felt so right.

~

My followers had been climbing higher as every day passed, with my commitment to uploading daily with a cute summery outfit. It felt really empowering to start each day off stylishly dressed and ready to kick ass- even if it was just working at Bean Crushers. It was also fun, I'm not sure how well I would keep it up when fall semester started, but for now I was enjoying it. I had been getting a lot of positive comments as well on my photos which was cool to see, and encouraged me to keep going. There were a few comments though, about whether I was the "mystery girl" dating Carter, which peaked my curiosity as to what that meant.

I brought up my explore page and decided to do some internet stalking to find out. After a little scrolling, I came across a post from a gossip site that was split into two. On the left, there was a photo of Carter sitting at some sort of café, laughing with a pretty girl I haven't seen before. On the right, there was a picture of Carter and I on our hike with his arms wrapped around me, probably from when he had run up and caught me from behind. I wonder how they got that photo? We hadn't encountered any fans or paparazzi that day... maybe they just hadn't come up to him? I flicked my eyes down toward the caption: "Carter Bryson, the ladies' man spotted with an old flame, Lacey Drew at Urth Caffé and with another mystery girl looking extra cosy on the Hollywood trail the next day. Is this the start of a budding romance, or perhaps a love triangle?"

What?! I guess mystery girl is me, but I couldn't be recognised clearly due to the cap shadowing my face and because the photo was not taken up close. But who was Lacey? They had called her an old flame... maybe an ex? I tried to remember back to that day, he briefly told me he would just be seeing some friends... Ugh, why do I even care that much? I trust him. I don't need to know his whereabouts and every single person he meets. I never even blinked twice until seeing this picture!

My insecurities once again started bubbling up to the surface as I looked up her name. This girl was stunning, and they both appeared like they were having a good time in that picture. I kept scrolling through her feed until I stumbled across a post from three years ago, she was leaning up to kiss Carter's cheek as he had a hand around her waist. A knot formed in my stomach at the sight. Ugh it was in the past though! It doesn't really matter! I knew I was being ridiculous and bringing this upon myself by looking, but at the same time it still bothered me. Especially because they had called her an old flame, and Carter had gone to see her recently... Am I jealous? I think I was. More importantly though, I was very, very confused. Who was she to him? And who am I to him?