Wish you weren't here...

introduction

Don't you ever sit and wonder what would have happened if i was not in this place, at this time, on this day would my life still be the same. I often sit and ponder about trivial things such as this (well trivial to some) and look at my life from a viewpoint perspective to make sure I seem fine i look at myself and think if i sit like this do i look happy?, do i look sad?, do i look depressed?

cause I realized only once it hit me how easily the human race can be deceived, because as long as I crack a smile and say "no, i'm okay" then people have no reason to think i'm lying. While i sit there critiquing myself inside and out thinking," Does lying make me a horrible person, or would telling the truth make me even worse." I think this way because i prioritize other peoples happiness above and beyond everything else. But no one would ever be able to tell because all i do is shrug people off and treat them like they are as worthless and as insignificant as me. 

I'm not saying i have no one to talk to about my problems, but I already come across as a bitch I don't want to be a burden.  I usually use the internet to release my emotions. I don't know why I find it easier to confide in strangers over the internet, But something about it just gives me a feeling of safety and belonging......

Note:

Sorry this is short but this is only the introduction i will write more per chapter once i get into it 

- Erin Xx