Love Is a Bunch of Stupid Decisions

Chapter 25

"Yeah! We just landed a few hours ago. We're getting settled into our hotel right now." I said, laying on Ava's hotel room bed as she got settled in the room. My parents had just called, knowing that I had arrived in my hometown of Grand Rapids today. I had been surprised when I saw my mom's name pop up on my phone. I guess I was just so used to them forgetting about me.

"Will we be seeing you at all while you're here? I know a while ago you said something about you and your boyfriend having dinner with us," My mom says, shocking me even more by remembering a conversation we'd had a few weeks back.

I tried to not let her hear the giant sigh I let out. She remembered. Of course- the one time I don't want her to remember a conversation we'd had, she does. So much of me was hoping we could skip over the whole "he's my ex-boyfriend now and you will not be meeting him" thing. But before I could even think of how to tell her that, my mouth just started spitting out words. 

"Yeah! We can go somewhere downtown for dinner tonight, if that works?"

Shit. Abort mission.

"That sounds good, we will see you then!"

I hang up, a nervous knot growing in my stomach.

"Did you just do what I think you did?" Ava chimes in.

I nod. "Yes. Yes I did."

"Should I ask why?"

I groan. "It's a long story, but basically life decided to bless me with an unhealthy desire to impress my parents, and I guess that I don't really want them to know the whole 'my boyfriend just cheated on me' thing."

"Aah... so what exactly is your plan?" She says, lightly chuckling.

"I'm not sure what made you think that I had a plan," I respond, laughing at my own life. "But I guess Ben and I are going to go to dinner, convince my parents that everything is absolutely fine, and then he and I will never talk to each other again."

"So you're going to lie to your parents and put you and Ben through that horribly awkward experience, just to make your parents think that you're in a happy relationship?"

"... Yep, I guess I am." I sigh, realizing the absolute mess that I had gotten myself into. I get out of bed to go find Ben, deciding it's probably best to just get this over with and let him know that he had plans tonight.

I knock on the hotel door that I had seen him going in earlier, trying to ignore the dreadful nervous feeling in my stomach. This was so stupid, yet I couldn't get myself to stop. A few seconds later the door opens, his face full of more shock and confusion than I could have ever expected.
"Before you say a word," I quickly speak, holding my hands out in front of me, "I'm not here for you to apologize. I don't want to hear you out yet. But basically I screwed up big time, and I need you to do me a favor."

He slowly nods, a slight disappointment on his face once he hears that I'm not here to listen to his story. "Ok, Char. Anything."

"You and I are going to dinner with my parents tonight, and we're going to act like everything is fine and dandy and like we're in love and like nothing is wrong. Ok?"

"You want me to go to dinner with you and your parents? Why, exactly?"

I sigh over dramatically. "Because, I want them to think that my life is actually going well. They don't need to know about the whole 'just got cheated on' thing. Ok?"

"Char, I told you-"

"And I told you that I don't want to hear it. Right?"

"Can you please just listen to me so that things can actually be ok again, instead of just pretending they are?" He snaps, the familiar burning sensation coming back into my throat. I couldn't cry now.
I shake my head. "I'm just not ready to yet. Ok?"

"Are you ever going to be ready to? Listen, Char, I know you're mad, but I promise that it wasn't-"

"For the love of God, Ben, I don't want to hear whatever bullshit you made up. Be ready at 6:00 and we'll meet my parents downtown for dinner." I turn and walk back to my room as quickly as possible, thankful to make it back before I start crying. Ava isn't in the room anymore, so I just take a while to myself to process through the shitshow that was about to unfold.

I checked my phone again. 5:50. I hadn't eaten since breakfast, afraid that my insane nervousness would make me puke if I consumed so much as a cracker. I'm shocked I hadn't worn a hole in the hotel room floor pacing back and forth for hours. What had I done?

There was plenty of plan B's that I could go for. I could still call my parents and tell them we couldn't make it. I could tell them Ben was sick, so it'd just be me for dinner. Yet, I couldn't get myself to back out. Yes, I was trying to convince my parents that everything was ok... but was I also trying to convince myself that everything was ok? Was this some weird act of denial and psychological insanity in an attempt to make myself feel better about my own life?

I tuck that deep and frightening thought away for now, checking my reflection in the mirror before I walk down to Ben's hotel room to grab him. He walks out of his hotel room just as I'm walking up to his door, smiling awkwardly at me. I return the same smile. He was wearing the same shirt that he had worn on our very first date, which makes my heart ache for those times when everything was so simple.

"Ready to go?" He asks.

I nod, the two of us walking side by side into the elevator. It was the most stifling and awkward silence I've ever had to endure- worse than anything I'd imagined it'd be in those hours I spent pacing the hotel room. We Uber to the restaurant in complete silence, only saying something once we were standing in front of the restaurant.

"This is probably the weirdest thing I've ever done," He says, with awkward laughter.

"Well if you hadn't cheated on me, we wouldn't have to be here." I reply almost instinctively, angry at myself for bringing it up when we were supposed to be in happy-couple mode.

"For fuck's sake, Char-"

"Mom! Dad! How are you guys?" I shout, seeing them approaching on the sidewalk. They walk up to us and I hug both of them before introducing everyone. "Mom, dad, this is Ben, my... boyfriend," I smile, watching as they both shook Ben's hand.

Ben smiled, looking them in the eye. "It's nice to finally meet you guys," He says. My heart practically broke then and there thinking about how none of this was actually real at all, and how badly I wished that it was.

We walk into the restaurant and find a table, Ben and I sitting across from my parents. I try to suppress how nauseous I feel, focusing instead on Ben and my dad's conversation. I had missed the first part, but Ben had my dad laughing about something completely random. I smiled at them, letting myself imagine for a moment what it would be like if this was real.

"Charlotte? Are you ok?" My mom asks, causing my head to snap up.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. What did you say?" I respond, smoothing my dress nervously.

"Are you sure you're ok? You don't look like you feel well at all," She continues, concerned.

It was clear to anybody that I was not fine. I was an emotional, exhausted, stressed out hot mess. "I was up super late doing some stuff for work, I must just be tired," I say, lying. My parents nod, both buying it.
I feel Ben's hand gently rub my knee, making me jump slightly. He looked over at me with a smile that was comforting, but also made me want to curl up and die right there. "She's the hardest worker I've ever met," He says, never taking his eyes off of me. "I don't think I'll ever understand how she ended up with a goof like me."

This was going to be a long night.